YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING BABYLON 5 TOO MUCH WHEN...

your hairstyle matches Londo's.
your sexual fantasies include Delenn.
your color is hot pink.
you believe that in a past life you were a member of the Grey Council.
you can't shake the feeling that DS9 is B4.
the only ancient history you know is Babylon's.
you pretend to blackmail Londo.
there is a hole in your mind.
you think vulcans are members of the Psi Corps.
you wonder who would win a fight between a Minbari and a Vulcan.
your .newsrc contains only the line "rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5: 1-183406".
you keep saying "data crystal" instead of "diskette".
you finger [email protected] and wonder why doesn't it work.
... then you remember that he's now sinclair@ea_embassy.minbar.gov.
... it doesn't work either, and then you conclude it must be a problem with the nameserver.
... so you try valen@... aw, skip it!
someone uses insecticide, and you shout "Do you wanna kill N'grath? Are you mad?".
... then you don't understand why everyone stares at you.
you try to watch Mutai fights on ESPN.
... you actually call them to complain about it.
you want to brain wipe someone you really hate.
you think Darth Vader is a Vorlon.
you think Chekhov was really Bester doing an undercover spying mission.
you want to become member of the Third Fain of Chudomo.
you believe the Grim Reaper is a soul hunter.
you wonder what did Captain Kirk do during the Earth/Minbari war.
you want to know if there are any xenobiology courses in med school.
you ask politics experts wether Al Gore has got the flu already.
you are upset because CNN doesn't report anything about Ragesh 3.
you wonder what's wrong when you calculate your age as >300.
your biggest worry is Narn expansionism.
... but recent events change that to Centauri expansionism.
you fart, and that makes you think of Vorlons.
you keep on thinking what went wrong in the Battle of the Line.
your first son has just been born, and you can't think of any names other than Londo, Lennier and Kosh.
you pretend to spend some vacations on Mars.
... and book a reservation on the Red Planet Hotel.
your dreams include something scary about flutes made up of bones.
you're afraid that your soul will escape if you're cut open.
you think Ivanova is God.
you ask the Air Force recruiter about the Starfury Training Program.
you go to the produce section of the grocery store and ask if their spoo is fresh.
your wardrobe consists of nothing but white, military-pressed collarless shirts and military pressed slacks.
you wonder who would win a testosterone battle between Garibaldi and Tim Allen.
you tell the plastic surgeon you want to have an operation to make you an anatomically correct Centauri.
you have a bumper sticker that says "My other car's a Starfury".
you have a bumper sticker that says "Warning: Fully loaded Cobra Bay in trunk".
you have made a PPG.
you start scouring the world to try and find enough Quantium-40 to make a jump-point generator.
you change from zip then fasten to fasten, then zip.
your WWW client's hot list has over 100 entries and 95% of them point to Babylon 5 pages.
you keep a notepad and pencil next to your bed so that you can write down what Kosh says in your dreams, should Kosh happen to appear.
... and you go through at least one notebook a week.
... and to be sure, you also write down everything your father says in your dreams.
at work, you don't go to strikes because of fear of the Rush Act.
you go asking everyone "What do you want?".
you wonder why Lt. Barclay bears a striking resemblance to that demented war vet in Downbelow.
... and you wonder how Bester and this war vet got to different Enterprises in different centuries via the same rift that ate B4.
the phone rings, and instead of picking up the receiver you tap the back of your hand.
you go to the aquarium and wonder if there's any significance to the fact that there's a kind of fish called the Garibaldi.
you call your cable operator and ask what cable package comes with ISN.
you are watching Letterman when the camera flashes to the audience. Two women are sitting quietly, not laughing at the jokes and wearing black gloves. You immediately shout, "Psicorps!".
you wreck your car on the highway by spinning the wheel fully around while traveling at 80 miles per hour, trying to imitate Sheridan as he's leaving the station in All Alone in the Night.
you wonder where the hell is that clean, efficient Minbari power source for your new motorcycle.
you catch yourself looking for rangers in the background while watching an opera.
you skive off work just to see what the TV listings magazines have to say about the new episode within an hour of them appearing on the shelves.
you call your travel agent and try to arrange passage to Minbar and get directions to the Earth embassy.
you're planning your vacation, and the only place that appeals to you is Molari State Park.
you bite into some fried chicken and say, "Hey, tastes just like Narn!".
you see "Norton utilities for people", and your brain sees "Morden utilities for people".
you'd like to introduce your sister to Lennier.
you begin fantasizing political conspiracies at your family reunion.
you wish you could stand up when driving your car.
the entire weekend is devoted to preparing and eating one meal.
while watching football, all the blockers look kinda like Kosh.
conversing with a Star Wars fan you claim that "My Shadows can kick your Dark Side's butt".
Barney and Baby Bop look like a viable alien race.
... until you realize that one is purple, and the other is green.
you begin to wonder if Bester and Deanna Troi are related.
you fantasize about how JMS would have written The Andy Griffith Show.
you realize that the "Psychic Friends Network" is actually the PR division of the Psi Corps.
you are spending the night in a shelter to wait out hurricane Erin, and your only thought is "I'm going to miss Babylon 5 tonight for sure!"
you are disappointed that your newspapers religion page doesn't list a Foundationist church.
your dreams don't simply include B5 characters and scenes, instead they are full new episodes.
you trust the Psi-Corps, because the Corps is your friend.
you try alligator at a restaurant, and all you can think of to say is "Tastes like Narn!".
you have always been here.
you go to the basement and expect to find a moment of perfect beauty in the darkness.
you look for airlocks to shove irritating people through.
"Scrag 'em" and "Space 'em" have become part of your normal vocabulary.
you call B5-related conversations "dis-kosh-ion"s.
you think genies were Shadow agents.
you back off whenever people ask "What do you want?".
you see a spline-based screen saver, and immediately wonder if Abel Horne has just interfaced with Control via that computer.
you actually try to make sense out of which side the red thing on Ivanova's uniform is facing on a particular episode.
you turn a mis-printed M&M upside-down and see the Psi Corps logo instead of an "m".
you ask jewelry stores if they carry gravity-control rings.
you offer to bring the little pieces of red fruit to a friend's wedding.
... and then can't keep yourself from saying "And so it begins" during the ceremony.
you wonder wether Cylons have anything to do with the Shadows.
you wonder wether Starbuck is a ranger.
you're not thinking what you're thinking.
you're bored of paying taxes for subsidizing those martian twits.
you get a headache and wonder if you've been through Sector 14.
you start wondering why Oliver Stone didn't mention the Psi Corp's involvement in the Kennedy assassination.
buying candy from a vending machine, you buy whatever is at selection B-5 (or you at least look there).
... because B1, B2, and B3 are broken.
... and the candy in B4 disappears before you can press the button.
you cut yourself just to verify your blood is red - not yellow or green.
Quentin Tarantino appears on a call-in program, and you call to ask if it was Ambassador Kosh in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.
you look up the name "Morden" in your local phone book.
... and when you find one, you call him up and ask him to have his associates pay a visit to the Warner Bros. exec who decided to delay broadcast of the final four season two episodes.
... and then you start reading the obituaries in Variety hoping to see news that a Warner Bros. exec died under mysterious circumstances.
you start dating someone because when you ask "What do you want?" they reply "Never ask that question!".
... and later break up over a green/purple argument.
you are watching ALIENS and you think the Alien queen is really one of the Shadows and wonder how Ripley is going to see her through its "invisibility" screen.
you constantly call all world governments to come together before the coming of the Shadows.
you feel you're being nibbled to death by cats.
at a relative's deathbed, you begin forming a wall of bodies, in case a Soul Hunter appears.
you see a beautiful girl wearing purple smiling at you, but decide not to approach her because you're wearing green and realize that it could never work out.
you commit murder because you were disturbed while watching it.
you are shopping for a new vehicle and the only ones that you are interested in are Ford Rangers and Dodge Shadows.
... and you ask the salesman to demonstrate the hyperspace capabilities of the Dodge Shadow.
... but you hesitate when you realize that once you're in one of those things you're never... quite... the... same... (but you do as you're told!)
... and you make sure your wife WON'T get anywhere near one of those.
you look for Mr. Garibaldi to hug when you're feeling insecure.
you want to build a statue to Zathras.
your car sings to you while you're sleep.
you ask people "Who are you?", and when they don't answer correctly, you stick their fingers in an electrical socket.
you rack your brain trying to figure out how the Forces of Light are going to defeat the Shadows, especially considering how dangerous the Shadow ships are to other ships.
you check the WWW Lurker site every day for the latest news, and spend your lunches and breaks at work studying the home page sections.
you have memorized Signs and Portents and The Coming of Shadows, after having seen each episode on tape about a hundred times.
you have memorized an enormous quantity of B5 trivia, and consider yourself an expert on the subject, even challenging people to quiz you on anything about the show.
you plan an expedition to Z'ha'Dum to rescue Sheridan's wife.
you consider killing President Clark yourself, but then realize that it wouldn't really help the situation.
you threaten someone you hate with the phrase "You will know pain, and you will know fear, and then you will die.".
you actually have said "Absofraginglutely".
you want a "Ba-bear-lon 5".
... then you hijack a shuttle and search for THE "Ba-bear-lon 5".
you wonder why the UN has not passed a resolution condemning the Centauri for their aggression and use of outlawed weapons.
you want UN peacekeepers sent to the Narn homeworld.
you accidentally cut yourself and all you can say is, "Dead, Dead, Dead...".
you check for Narn before entering a elevator.
you try to buy a TV station that runs B5, and then try to have its call letters changed to KOSH.
you don't trust anyone named "Sebastian".
you panic when someone asks "Who are you?".
you look for an investigative reporter to do an expose' on the Nightwatch.
you put a Vorlon on top of your Christmas tree.
you start looking for "attributes" on your stomach.
you have just been thru a life threatening situation and all you can think of saying is "Thank the Great Maker.".
you decide that your wife would look good bald.
you begin to become attracted to Vir.
you start talking to household appliances and your car.
you see the headlights of an oncoming car and you think it's a couple of Vorlons.
you begin wondering when the rangers are going to overthrow the Grey Council.
you wonder how to hide a Narn war cruiser in your backyard for sanctuary.
you begin to plot the death of Psi Corps for what they did to Talia.
you mark the upcoming episode titles in your datebook.
you decide it's better not to tell yourself what it is that you do not need to know.
entering a church, you find the Holy Water but can't help wondering where the Minbari and Human blood is.
while driving, you suddenly have an irresistible urge to "punch it".
your boss tells you he expects you to read his mind and you immediately suspect he may be a Psi Corp spy.
you are suddenly afraid of your own shadow and want to ask Delenn what it means.
you start having romantic feelings for G'Kar.
someone asks you what time it is and you reply, "It's the dawn of the third age...".
you listen to the music instead of the song when you seek for meaning.
you arrange a meeting with someone at the hour of scampering.
you are happy now that the case of Jack the Ripper is finally closed.
you consider the possibility that the world is right and you are wrong.
instead of pulling the emergency brake in a train, you tap the back of your hand and shout "Computer, emergency override! Open train doors!".
you consider a strain on you to be seen by many people.
you start referring to your children as "pouchlings".
you think NRA means "Narn Resistance Alliance".
the only day that has any meaning is the day when B5 is telecast.
you start growing coffee in your closet under grow lights.
the highest compliment you can give your girl/boy friend is that they look like a "dream given form".
you toss off proverbs like: `A little learning is a three-edged sword.'.
you're angry that you can't find a bar that serves Jovian Sunspots.
the only senator's name you can recall is Hidoshi.
you wonder how the Millennium Falcon can go into hyperspace without a jumpgate.
your goal in life is to become a technomage.
you name your newborn daughter Delenn.
your bedroom starts looking like the Downbelow.
people get irritated by your talking in Vorlonesque statements - you always say "good".
you think the FBI has been remiss in not using monks to seek out the Unabomber.
you're driving on the Cross Bronx expressway, and upon seeing the exit for the Sheridan expressway you think "Wasn't Sheridan born in 2214?".
you go to the sporting goods store to get a cat hunting license.
you refuse to go into a bar because you fear that even a small amount of alcohol will cause you to go into a homicidal rage.
you ask your doctor about getting gill implants.
you go to your local flower shop to special order a G'Quan Eth plant.
you wonder wether the Wookies are members of the League of Non-Aligned Worlds.
you see a spider on your wall and the first thing you think of is how much it looks like a Shadow ship.
... then you're afraid to smash it for fear of being cut in half by a purple ray.
... Heck, you aren't even going to touch it with your bare hand!
... Then you concentrate your thoughts on the spider in an attempt to make it go away.
you reverse a .wav of the season 3 theme and play it back to check for secret messages or Shadow voices.
you change your hairstyle to match Delenn's.
you accuse your co-workers of being PsiCorps and Nightwatch plants, and your boss of being a Shadow agent.
you're playing Battleship and you grin knowingly whenever someone calls B5.
you can't get hot water for your shower, and you wonder if you've done anything to piss off Ivanova.
you're watching a news report on the Bosnian peace talks, and when they show a map showing how the country is to be divided, you swear that the borders are shown outlined in flame.
you are tempted to mindwipe your rebellious teen so you can start over.
you fear the midterm is going to explode if you don't answer all the questions.
you search your local bookstores continuously trying to find a copy of the Book of G'Quon.
you step into an elevator and say "Blue 2".
... and then you wonder why this travel tube doesn't respond to voice commands.
you classify your days as 'arc' or 'non-arc'.
you stare at pennies far too long.
you try to collect people's fears using a video recorder.
you dream about friends speaking cryptically while birds are perched on their shoulders.
it takes weeks for you to recover after you read a mention of the excellent "psych program" at CLARK University.
your Netscape's home page is http://www.midwinter.com/lurk/whatsnew.html.
you start to find Narn females attractive.
you make octopus spaghetti because you're expecting Drazi visitors.
you're watching "Golden Eye" and think the line goes, "Only three men I know use a Walther PPG. Two of them are scragged.".
you think Santa Claus is a Shadow agent because he always asks "What do you want?".
you think The Fugitive deserves a makeup Emmy - G'Kar made a very convincing one-armed man.
somebody calls you a bonehead, and you retort "But I'm not Minbari!!!".
you avoid answering questions by impersonating Mollari and saying, "When the room stops spinning.".
you think that calling someone a liar is a capital offense.
you tell your girlfriend she'd look great with a bone hairpiece.
you see a commercial for Motel 6, and then you spend the next half hour wondering what happened to Motels 1 through 5.
after watching the end of Screamers, you wonder what did Sheridan know in There All Honor Lies.
you look up the word "Vorlon" in the dictionary to find clues to the story arc.
on the subway, you inspect the seats of other passengers after they stand up, just in case...
you want to know if the evil teacher you despise is still out sick, so you ask your friends "Have the Shadows returned to Z'ha'dum?".
... and you talk about B5 so much that they actually know what you mean and who you're referring to.
you have been seen wandering around mumbling something about how "a lack of information can KILL you" on the day of final exams.
your 330M hard drive holds over 73 megs of B5 video, audio, and texts... and counting.
you have used the phrase "... because you can't have larger ideals if the smaller ones are compromised" at least three times on essay tests.
you ask your AP physics teacher how to build a jumpgate.
you start ending your prayers with "In Valen's Name, Amen.".
people ask you where you are, and you reply "The name of the place, is _________".
in a game of DESCENT, when you're cloaked and about to nail somebody, you send the message: "Watch out for Shadows. They move when you're not looking.".
your 6-character ATM code is "B5KOSH"
you refer to caffeine sodas as "stims".
you have a bumper sticker that says "Sheridan/Ivanova for 2264".
a friend of yours won't tell you a secret he knows, and you think "If I only could get a Dust dose...".
the idea of digging in your backyard more than a few inches scares you to death.
you yell at the television when the characters on the show violate Earth Force protocols, and you're watching DS9.
you break off a friendship with someone because you find out he's a NightWatch man.
you are a student, yet you look forward to autumn because you know the new season of Babylon 5 is going to start.
you feel all smug after eating scrambled eggs.
... and then you tap the back of your hand and say "Hey, Sheridan, guess what I just had for breakfast?".
after watching Messages From Earth, you think back to War of the Worlds and realize that H.G. Wells was right about keeping an eye on Mars.
you prop up one end of your bed so that it's inclined about 45 degrees.
... but you sleep safely in the knowledge that someone will catch you if you should fall.
in Physics class, you refer to your studies regarding optical principles as "The Geometry of Shadows".
you make a note to remember to dust yourself off once in a while.
you start looking for the Pak'ma'ra section in the mens' restrooms.
your university's PR department decides they must review all WWW pages prior to posting, and you begin calling them the Nightwatch.
... when asked why the Computer Science department itself is subject to the PR department's approval, you answer "Because we have lost our teeth, and we have forgotten how to bite.".
... and then you seriously consider locking them all up in one room to convict them of unconstitutional behavior.
you want Narns on the police force.
you want to kill Barney the Dinosaur by dropping him into a room full of Drazi.
you ask your history professor if he's considered joining with one of those Vindrizi thingies.
you call your friends in for a code 7R.
you spend so much time outside of your body that you sometimes forget where it is.
you are watching your old tapes and start playing "Spot the Markab".
you put a bucket on your head and impersonate the ancient Vorlon god Boojie.
your cordless phone picks up interference, and you think there are Shadows on the line.
being reminded of someone you dislike, you scream "<that dude's name> tavotna chog!".
every time you take out a butter knife you cut your hand as Narn tradition dictates.
you're reminding a Calculus student of the definition of the hyperbolic cosine function, and you experience a mysterious impulse to begin answering all questions with useless vague monosyllables.
you see an article in a travel magazine extolling the ancient cities, art, and social tolerance of a foreign country, and you feel compelled to rewrite the article.
you start referring to Geneva as "Earthdome" and you use "Homeworld" instead of Earth.
you chant "Za ba ga bee" in front of your motorcycle.
your favorite hockey team is the New York Rangers, even though you live in Pittsburgh.
your favorite baseball team is the Texas Rangers even though you live in Kansas City.
your favorite soccer team is the Glascow Rangers, and you're Catholic!
you're writing about the Underground Railroad for history and you type "telepaths" instead of "slaves".
you start wondering when Scully and Mulder will capture a Shadow.
you think the Worm might be the Nexus' evil twin brother.
you go out and try to collect donations for the families of the Churchill's crew.
you use a short sword to kill cockroaches.
as you kneel before the porcelain altar, your one comforting thought is that it can't be a real hangover, otherwise you would not remember it!
you express mortification by gasping, "In Valen's Name!".
you think that the show starring Roma Downey and Della Reece is called "Touched By a Vorlon".
you see anything with a snake light attached to it, then you back away slowly.
you make sure those aren't eyeballs spread on your toast.
government inspectors come to visit your area of your worksite, you put a hand on your forehead, lift it and look at it.
... and when they leave, you banefully say, "They're here.".
everything makes a very satisfying thump (or did I mention that?).
your shoes are too tight and you have forgotten how to dance.
you think regret can be harvested.
you start using the verb "to butt" in your conversations.
you start reciting the Lord's Prayer and it comes out, "Our Ivanova, which art in Heaven...".
you have a dream in which your guardian angel appears to you, and it's in an encounter suit.
your dirty sexual fantasies start to include Morden.
you're disappointed because your computer doesn't sound like Harlan Ellison.
your computer does sound like Harlan Ellison.
you write Betty Crocker to get advice on how to prepare spoo.
you reach for your usual breakfast cereal, Basic 4 (which you often abbreviate as B4), and then a scratchy voice in the back of your head suddenly declares, "Breakfast not Zathras skill.".
you register a domain with DNS just so you can post to USENET from [email protected].
every day, in the locker room, you change the combination on all of the 4-digit locks to read "2260".
... then plan to change it to "2261" when season 4 starts.
you expect 36-hour long news reports.
you begin seeing your own death in your dreams.
... and a one-eyed Narn has an active part on it!
you wonder why PBS doesn't show any Narn opera.
... then you think it must be because the PBS executives prefer Centauri opera.
you want NASA to name its next space shuttle the "White Star".
you wonder if the Shoemaker-Levy 9 comet damaged the transfer point on Io.
you see someone you don't like and fear a glowing triangle will appear on your forehead.
you look in the Bible for references on how to fight Shadows.
you start taking vibe showers because your house can't handle that much water.
you spend countless hours researching what exactly are the first two ages of mankind.
you keep a Narn translator at your side when reading the bible.
you think that Obi-Wan was a technomage.
you're in perpetual fear of tomorrow's boom.
you practice Vir's finger-wave, in case you ever happen onto Morden.
you fantasize about having a surgically implanted bone on your head.
you try to book passage to the rim.
you put wires on your head hoping to become a pilot for a Shadow ship.
your worst nightmare is walking into C&C naked.
you start thinking of Minbari drinking games.
you really get what Kosh is saying.
you look for animals in the sides of Vorlon ships instead of doing it on clouds.
you think that F-16 pilots are Gaims working for the Air Force.
you wonder wether Predators dare to hunt down Shadows.
someone attacks you, and you expect to find a PPG lying on the floor.
you think that Mulder and Scully are doing a very bad job - after all, undeniable proof of extraterrestrial life has been widely known for about a century.
you suspect that the Streibs were the ones who kidnapped Mulder's sister.
you wonder what did C.S. Lewis know about Narn history.
you expect people to suddenly take off their face and reveal they're Drazis with a mask.
you say Or-Londo instead of Orlando.
you can't get the words "Signs and Portents" out of your head.
you cancel vacation plans so that you don't miss Babylon 5.
your teacher gives you a large assignment without explaining why, and you have the urge to shout "UP YOURS!".
... a while after that, he appears in your dreams apologizing.
you wonder what kind of insurance discount you can get for installing the Vorlon Defense System in your car.
... and you try to find out if there's an option package on the Ford Ranger that includes it.
the player for your team strikes out, you mutter "not the one".
the phrase "Six of one, half a dozen of the other.", sounds like an obscene Centauri joke to you.
your will stipulates that when you die, your clothing is to be placed next to your car.
you look out the window at a skyscraper and wonder whether it's big enough to open its own jump point.
you move into your new apartment, notice that the next street over is named "Sheridan", and consider relocating there.
you go spelunking in canyons trying to find an access way to the heart of the Great Machine.
you petition NASA to rename the international space station as Babylon 1.
you pull your car into a public parking structure and surrender control to C&C's docking computer.
... and then explain to the person you crashed into how substandard chips caused the collision.
... and when they ask you how your car flipped over, you explain that the chips didn't properly match the rotation rate of the parking facility.
you announce that your floor is seceding from the rest of the company.
... and for the rest of the time you wear black outfits at work.
... and you charge the mailroom rent!
you call up the local radio station and request "Too Shy" by Koshagoogoo.
you wonder why Oliver Stone never investigated the death of President Santiago.
you become strangely obsessed with oranges.
you wonder why you've never seen Lady Morella and Ambassador Troi together.
you like to sing "Vorlons We Have Heard on High" at Christmas.
the phrase "a pain in the neck" has sinister connotations.
the introduction to the old radio program The Shadow leaves you in a fetal position.
you call a Packers/Vikings game "The Drazi Bowl".
you try to summon a person by attaching a car battery to a full set of their clothing.
every morning, when you must carry everyone's bags out to the car, you recite "Zathras used to being beast of burden for other people...".
a friend goes against your advice, takes a certain course you already took, and gets a horrible grade, you repeat the phrase "I tried, I tried to WARN them... but it all happened, just the way I remember it...".
you could swear for a second that the comments on your SAT diagnostic say "Mathematics not Zathras skill".
you wear black for a month after viewing Interludes and Examinations.
you get extremely drunk in order to determine if you have a Shadow "Keeper" attached to your neck.
... and then you actually think you can see it from the corner of your eye.
you go to the travel agent to plan a trip to New Vegas.
you are the hand.
the man in between is searching for you.
you think the theme from 2001 is "Also Sprach Zathras' Sister".
you go to Staten Island just to see the Garibaldi Museum House.
in an attempt to experience what it's like to live on the station, for 36 hours you lock yourself in the largest clothes dryer you can find and set it on the highest possible speed.
your friend returns from Jerusalem, and you keep on touching him, his clothing, his luggage...
... and, of course, his plants!
you have completely customized your computer with B5 wallpapers, sounds, icons and screensavers.
... and you are not the least bit embarrassed!
your entries on this page are in the double digits.
you rent every movie in which a B5 regular appears.
encrypting data, you can't think of any passphrase other than "Hello old friend.".
... and after some serious thinking come up with "peekaboo", "socks", "fasten", and "zip".
you can't stand how the government keeps acting as though there was nothing of interest happening outside Earth.
... but keep it to yourself as you realize that publicly criticizing the government is not the wisest thing to do these days.
you see a book by Alfred Bester and discard it as Psi Corps propaganda.
driving in the road, you're surrounded by trucks, and you start screaming frantically "Not like this! Not like this!" and try to crash one of them.
you go door to door looking for telepaths to help you in the upcoming Shadow war before Psi Corps can snatch them and ship them off to the Shadows.
... and then when your own family has you committed you start blabbing something about ISN and a conspiracy within the government and the chain of command.
during a weekend trip to Escondido, California, you check in at the Sheridan Inn, and are a bit startled to see that the staff isn't dressed in spiffy black-and-gray uniforms.
you wonder why common everyday words like "Minbari" and "Z'Ha'Dum" aren't in your spell checker.
your spell checker actually recognizes words like "Minbari" and "Z'Ha'Dum".
you pass a road sign and you think it reads "... your last, best hope for gas and food next 200 miles.".
you expect to be able to buy only the sections of the newspaper you're interested in, just like Universe Today lets you do.
you see someone that has a sore throat and dizziness, and you run away screaming something about a black angel.
... and when you see that the other persons in the area are doing nothing about it, you realize they're accepting their fair punishment.
you're kidnapped, and you expect to be rescued by an Omega class destroyer.
... and expect to be helped by a Narn while trying to escape.
you try to buy a Universe Today copy at your local newspaper stand.
you refer to the 5-month period when no new episodes are shown as "the great darkness".
you are afraid that making a hole in the floor of your house could breach the hull and kill you.
... so you have a porthole installed in the floor and expect to see a starfield when you look through it.
you pretend that your TI-82 graphing calculator is an identicard scanner.
you answer the phone saying "Garibaldi's Fashion Express, go.".
you keep trying to remember if it was Romeo that was purple and Juliet was green, or the other way around.
... then get mad when your English professor doesn't know.
every time your wife picks up a snow ball, you expect someone to startle her opening the door, causing her to drop and shatter it.
you name your unborn son David in hopes that he'll be born with a Minbari crest.
your boyfriend leaves for a long journey, and you implore him not to go to Z'Ha'Dum.
you want to go somewhere, but you don't feel safe leaving home without a time stabilizer.
you're ticked off that you can't buy Minbari fighting sticks in America.
... and as a result you go to Japan to continue the search.
you try to open fuseboxes by saying "I don't believe in luck." and turning your back on them.
you drive 2 hours to your in-laws' house to watch next week's episode on satellite - then drive home right afterwards.
you visit where you used to work, but hide from your best friend in order to protect him.
you're watching The Sentinel, and wonder why Marcus Cole lied about how his brother died.
you start playing multiple characters on a MUD, naming your warrior Sheridan, the cleric Delenn, the mage Valen, the Psionicist Bester, and the ranger Marcus.
you start confusing the DS9 wormhole with a jumpgate.
you shave your head and get tattooed to look more like a Narn.
you decide that NightWatch is behind the Communications Decency Act.
you try to order flarn at a fast-food restaurant.
you become extremely agitated when you can't find a listing for the Zocalo in your local phone book.
... and you then turn your house upside down looking for the 2259/60 edition.
you've memorized G'kar's "need for freedom" speech.
... it's been your .sig file for the last few months.
you start printing your homework on transparencies.
you're having second thoughts about that "face on mars" thing in the tabloids.
the letter Psi causes pain.
you get real nervous when CNN goes off the air because of technical difficulties.
you wonder why the Mutai is not in the Olympics.
you start dancing and singing around someone when they talk about sex.
you wonder if Dax was a lurker before she was joined.
your computer's startup message is "You have always been here.".
... and the shutdown message is your father's voice saying "It's alright son. As long as you're here, I'll always be here.".
you see an "EA" in an old-style script on a business card and your first thought is "I didn't know Clark changed the seal of the Earth Alliance when he came to power.".
you and your wife are invited to a party and your reply is "When it is time, come to this place. Call our name. We will be here.".
we were right about you.
you stand between the candle and the star.
seeing someone in a green and purple shirt causes you a moral dilemma.
before you start work at a new office, you have to give a good luck speech.
you submit a TV series idea to Aaron Spelling called "Charlie's Vorlons".
you flunk your history final because you list the sixteenth US President as being Abrahamo Linconi.
you read all the entries and you laugh all the way to the end, when suddenly you are gripped by fear at the realization that 307 of them apply to you.
you won't let your girlfriend touch your snowglobe.
your Christmas presents are pieces of scrap metal.
you train in Centauri battle tactics when you're playing Descent.
... and in Descent 2, you re-enact the Battle of the Line with plasma cannons and afterburners.
... and then you use the Omega cannon and pretend to be a Vorlon ship.
you wonder if the Jem'Hadar will help in the battle against the Shadows.
... then realize the Dominion works for the Shadows.
the only e-mail you've received in the past few months has been from various B5 listservers.
you buy a Packard Bell computer and in a little while find yourself mumbling "Zathras can never have anything nice.".
you go to an adult video rental store and ask if they have any Centauri porn movies.
you arrive at gate B4 of the airport, and are not surprised to see that your plane has disappeared.
... so you conclude it must have been taken back in time to help win the Crusades.
... and then it dawns on you that you were supposed to leave from gate B5, because sooner or later everyone goes to B5.
you start taking Ivanova lessons.
you wonder if Jack-in-the-Box is serving Pak'ma'ra cuisine.
before you put on new clothes, you tell a secret and give something away.
you're in the middle of fifteen things, all of them annoying.
you wonder why the Narn aren't participating in the Olympic Games.
... then you realize they refuse to go in protest for the Centauri-Earth non-aggression treaty.
you can't help but wonder why there is not a single Drazi in free-style wrestling in the Olympic Games.
you wonder what does the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy say about the Shadows.
... and you're sure that its entry for Z'Ha'Dum is "Mostly Harmful".
you want to send the Vogon Constructor Fleet to get rid of that damn planet once and for all.
you continuously think about what would happen to a Minbari that drinks a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.
you want to drink hot jala instead of tea.
you refuse to go aboard a boat named "Icarus", because one from the crew looks just like Morden.
every time you see the word Modern your mind reads Morden.
you'd rather have a gok than a cat.
you think that you can NEVER watch too much B5.
you walk past the ornamental duck pond at work and refer to the cute Centauri cats.
you take an exceptional interest in Olympic rowing, held at Lake Lanier.
you wonder why Centauri fencing is not an Olympic sport.
you're reading the side of a bottle of vitamins and you understand why there is no vitamin B4, but you wonder why there's no vitamin B5.
... then you begin to wonder what vitamins B1, B2, and B3 are doing there.
you histerically call "Mitanu" someone who's been on surgery.
you believe John Gray's bestseller is called "Men are from Mars - Women are from Minbar".
you're whole life has been leading to this.
you ask your doc for some stims because you plan to watch B5 episodes the whole weekend.
someone asks you: "Do you understand?" and you say: "No, but understanding is not required, only obedience.".
you wonder if Garibaldi is in the elevator before the door opens and you enter it.
you want to buy starlaces for your girlfriend.
... then you remember that it is difficult to buy them in a shop and you want to grow them for her.
you wear black gloves even in summer.
you think YOU are a telepath and are trying to run from Psi Corps.
you think the Holy Trinity consists of Sinclair, Delenn, and Sheridan.
you write to Kenneth Starr, demanding that he investigate President Clark's illegal activities.
you read about the Raiders moving back to Oakland, and you are surprised since they were destroyed in Signs and Portents.
you wonder what wine you should serve with flarn.
you want the World Court to indict Lyndisty for war crimes.
seeing a football player's helmet fly off after a hard tackle causes a flashback to the Battle of the Line.
you can't decide between a G'kar, a G'van, or a G'pickup.
you wonder why do Pernese dragon riders have Narn names.
while attending Yom Kippur services, you hear Londo's voice in your mind saying, "Fasting, prayer and repentance? This, by you, is a good time?".
you go into a restaurant and order breen.
... and the owner actually knows what it is because you've been ordering it ever since you first saw Walkabout.
you try to stay close to the Vorlon.
you watch out for Shadows because they move when you're not looking at them.
you feel all that remains now is honor and death.
you want to hide a na'ka'leen feeder in your boss' apartment - and call it "just an April Fools' prank".
you spend long nights wide awake in bed contemplating on how many Vorlons can dance on the tip of a flame.
your sexual fantasies involve a menage-a-trois between yourself, Talia and Ivanova.
you plan a holy pilgrimage to Ivanova's birthplace.
you call up toy companies demanding them to make Babylon 5 action figures.
... and tell them to make sure the Londo figure anatomically correct!
you hold parties where you request everyone come barefoot.
you think Madonna sings "Like a Vorlon".
you feel as though you're missing out because, as a human, you know you'll never get past "one".
the only interjection you use is "not good".
you look at people through drinking glasses so you can see the light refracting their soul.
you call up the hair salon to make an appointment with Ivanova on Tuesday.
you pass a billboard that says EA on it and you wonder what the Earth Alliance is advertising THIS time.
you see a cloud in the shape of a huge hand reaching out and you wonder how you got into Londo's dream.
inside an elevator, you take the time between floors.
you handcuff yourself to your computer and call yourself Draal.
your favorite song is The One by Elton John.
... and you call up your local radio station and have it dedicated to Delenn.
you try to mail a huge box of freeze dried coffee to the B5 command staff for Christmas.
your wedding gown looks like one of Delenn's outfits.
... heck, so do all the rest of your clothes!
you buy yourself an old Chevrolet Nova, refurbish it, and add the letters "IVA" to the beginning of its name.
you're more interested in Sheridan and Delenn's lovelife than your own.
... what lovelife? You gave that up to watch more Babylon 5!
you go to the optician and order red contact lenses.
the most pressing question on your mind is why the Shadows are not called Z'ha'dumians or Z'ha'dumites?
you wonder if a Vulcan high priestess can reunite the missing piece of Kosh with his old ship.
you watch reruns of Scarecrow and Mrs. King and decide that Sheridan was recruiting her for the Army of Light.
people refer to Australia as downunder and your mind hears it as Down Below.
you mess up on a recipe for a cake and you have to go back and start over from scratch.
you have a bumper sticker that says "Smile, Valen loves you".
you try not to walk in front of ventriloquist dummies.
you use "Hello Old Friend" as the subject for all your email.
you actually believe that Merlin was really Kosh.
you think the running lights on the runway look like a jumpgate.
... and worry when the plane comes in to land thinking it will jump into hyperspace any second.
every time you use a vending machine you can swear there's never anything at selection B-4.
... although there was definitely something there yesterday.
you spend your days wondering how Brother Theo handles confessions with only 24 hours in the day.
you try to turn on your computer by waving your hand across the keyboard.
you meet a person you thought you'd never see again, and immediately check the back of their neck.
you think that Charles Darwin was obviously controlled by the Shadows, to familiarize Earth with their theories.
you try to find deep meaning in the fact that Valen is an anagram for navel.
people ask you what time it is, and you respond "The Hour of the Wolf".
you try to get Garibaldi's picture on a milk carton.
your eyes turn completely black.
you send a "Get well soon" card to Morden.
... as well as the name of a good dermatologist.
your friends appear in your dreams with birds perched on their shoulders.
you start rooting for the Shadows.
you grin when you play bingo, and they call out B5.
you cringe when they play Andy Gibb's Shadow Dancing on the radio.
you say "En'til'zah" when you sneeze instead of "Ah-choo".
whenever you say "En'til'zah", people DON'T say "Bless you".
you go on walkabouts.
you see a can of soup with the label peeled off, and think someone dropped their Minbari Fighting pike.
you build a shrine to Daffy Duck, God of Frustration.
you are standing over a deep pit and hear Kosh say "Jump, Jump now!".
... and you ACTUALLY CONSIDER it.
you watch your boyfriend in his sleep for three nights, waiting to see his true face.
you wonder how Minbari feel about drooling.
as you get ready to go to work, you see Kosh behind you in the mirror, saying "If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die.".
you've got the fourth season intro memorized the day of the premiere.
... and you know whose voice says what.
... and you know the pictures that go with it.
you take a biology course at a university, and refuse to turn in your laboratory reports because you're afraid the Earth Alliance will use them to make a biological weapon.
you suspect the failed NASA probe to Mars was really captured by the Shadows, and NASA placed a homing beacon on the probe so we could follow it to Z'ha'dum.
you're doing a marketing project for your internship and you're shocked to find that there are Fortune 500 companies named Valen Manufacturing, Sheridan Corporation, and PPG Industries.
you wonder if your green car would be vandalized if you parked it in your school's "purple zone" parking lot.
you become such a John/Delenn fanatic that you refer to yourself as a "flaming flarnhead".
you change your computer passwords to "iluvB5" and "john&delenn".
you want to help G'Kar kill Cartagia.
you try never to get too involved with your own life.
every song on the radio reminds you of John and Delenn.
your motto has become "Work is for people who don't watch B5!".
the only music you've listened to in the past three months is the Babylon 5 soundtrack CD.
... and you've invented lyrics for all the scores.
... and you've listed which cuts go with which episodes.
you carry around a small tape player so you can play Beethoven's 5th at high speeds whenever you speak.
you draw striking similarities between the Shadows and Microsoft.
you have a great day. You're relaxed and happy... then it occurs to you that it may all be the result of a mindwipe!
you have actually looked for a Zathras fan club.
... and when you didn't find it, you started your own.
you have assembled the Great Machine in your back yard.
whenever your friends ask you how something ends, you reply "In Fire".
you have a bumper sticker which reads "I break for Vorlons".
you eat your vegetables using the right hand and then wait a few moments before eating again.
you sky-dive without a parachute, thinking a strange being of light will save you.
you try to install blast doors in front of your windows.
you end conversations with friends by saying "May Valen walk with you and light your way.".
you always leave a spare, empty seat at the dinner table.
you consult your local doctor for inoculations against Drafa.
you keep a count of how many years until Babylon 5 goes online.
every time you hand work in at school, there are at least five references to Babylon 5 in it.
you become a politician and try to pass a Bill stating that the history of Babylon 5 should be taught at school and it should be a criminal offence to dislike Babylon 5.
you want to buy a Vree insecticide, to kill the bugs with a "plasma rain".
you hide some diskettes in a book, and then send it to the Mir orbital space station.
you wonder why the US and russian Mars probes weren't protected by an Omega class destroyer.
you cheer for the Kansas City Chiefs, because they have MARCUS ALLEN playing for them.
... but you cheer more for the NY Jets because they have a MARCUS COLEMAN.
you see a local KOSHer deli and you wonder if it has always been there.
... then you conclude the Shadows are treif.
you want Amnesty International to declare G'kar a prisoner of conscience.
you are worried since the news has had absolutely NO updates about the Vorlon advances.
you look up the word "cranky".
you copy the episodes to audio tapes, so that you can enjoy them on your way to work in the car.
you wear someone else's hat to get hold of his shagrassa.
you always try to remember to call him Mr. Morden. After all, who would want to be noticed by his associates by a lack of courtesy?
you tell people that you're not a "systems administrator" but a "technomage".
it's 4:00 AM. You've just woken, screaming, from another Babylon 5 dream. Serverlan is going to have Mr. Morden's child! You go back to sleep. It gets worse: Bester's been named as one of the god-parents.
it's getting more and more difficult to try and think of a password that isn't Babylon 5 related.
your ambition for winning the lottery is to guarantee the production of season 5.
your WWW browser's Babylon 5 hotlists are nested into categories six deep.
... including entries for Dejanews!
your motorbike is called the "White Star".
the number of days remaining until some important event are counted as being "Z minus...".
... and always commences with "Z minus 14".
you get a bad case of pikal envy.
you insist on calling "pain technicians" to the torturers.
you swear the neighbor's dog talks to you in the voice of your father.
you relocate to Sheridan, Wyoming.
you see little Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie, and you instantly yell out "bitch!".
you keep all your special info in a computer file named "Harriet".
counting up to 40 scares the hell out of you.
you try to decipher your newborn's babbling just because he's wearing "Osh Kosh" coveralls.
instead of swatting them, you tell spiders "Go. Now. Leave. These are not for you".
you want to go for a walk outside, but you can't seem to find your spacesuit.
you start worshipping Cartagia.
you get "John + Delenn forever" tattooed on your chest.
the only CDs you own are Walkabout, by the Fixx, and The One, by Elton John (besides the soundtrack, that is).
you try to put on a benefit concert for Shadow War refugees.
you think you hear the rocks crying out "No hiding place" to you.
you try to get people to do that new crazy dance, The Pak'ma'carena.
you cut off the heads of your son's puppets, and arrange them in a row.
... then refuse to take any decision without asking them first.
you buy champagne to celebrate your 100th viewing of The Coming of Shadows.
... and you buy some more to celebrate your 100th viewing of Infection!
you keep seeing Babylon 5 explode in your cup of tea.
you plan to blow up apartments B1, B2 and B3 in your building.
... then you realize apartment B3 has to blow up on its own.
... but you're not sure what to do with apartment B4.
you plan a vacation in the Cartagian Mountains.
you have to go to the emergency room, but to refuse to have anyone but Dr. Franklin operate on you.
you remember JMS' name faster than your own.
you have a complete breakdown after reading that in Great Britain, the Shadow Cabinet consists of the heads of the opposition party.
while reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, your mind sees "VORLON constructor fleet".
you call your computer Z'Ha'Dum, for whatever software is installed that will not serve... is destroyed!
you call a certain Wisconsin based football team the Green Bay Pack'Ma'Ras!
you fall asleep during a dinner with your girlfriend.
... and when she wakes you up, you mumble "In the memory of the Nine and the One".
... then claim you were not sleeping, you were meditating.
you think that the celestial body that Icarus flew too close to was Z'Ha'Dum, not the Sun.
... and you try to convince your teacher that so was the case.
... and you can't understand why you got a "C" grade in Greek Mythology.
you know the recipe for Flarn.
... and the correct rituals to perform when making it.
you go to the local marina to buy a motor-butt.
trying to think of names for your two newborn twin sons, all you can think of is G'Kar and Londo.
... then decide against it, since they would be fighting all the time.
in empathy for G'Kar, you pluck your eye out.
the water you use for your plants has blood mixed in with it.
you think the Death Star was actually a Vorlon planet destroyer.
you try to get Ivanova's birthday declared a national holiday.
you claim a Ranger can win a fight against a Jedi.
you wonder why you keep picturing Zack Allan driving a taxi.
you start referring to your telephone as "the Gold Channel".
you want to go to Z'ha'dum with a can of Raid and a flyswatter.
you hate that diet <foodplan>, so you go and make some Bagna Cauda.
you mailbomb [email protected].
... and wonder why you get all those messages back with an "address not found" tag.
you silently wonder where Figgrin Dan and his cantina band is, because sooner or later everyone comes to Babylon 5.
you wonder why your local national park rangers don't have big green stones in their badges.
driving, you activate the Defense Grid when someone cuts you up.
driving, and about to crash, you well "Engines at critical. EJECTING!!!".
driving, to get a better reception on the radio, you try and drain energy from life support.
driving, you crash, thinking there was an Auto pilot.
driving, you ask for docking clearance when pulling up to a garage.
you refer to your boss as "Ranger One".
you buy the A-Z of Babylon 5, then realise you know more than the authors of the book do.
customers in the Best Buy you work in complain because whenever they ask "What kind of TV is this?" you always respond, "Efficient".
the only practical joke you can think of is to lock someone in a room full of angry Narns.
... without the key.
your mother says "I know what you're thinking.", and you begin to wonder why the Psi Corps hasn't come for her yet.
your family is going away on vacation, and you tell them you can't leave home, or it'll blow up or disappear.
you fervently hope none of the guys down at maintenance has attached a bomb to the Earth's fusion reactor.
you start referring to Windows 95 as Shadows 95, because it always destroys your work by crashing the programs you run.
you are upset you didn't get an invitation to the wedding between John and Delenn.
the word "Control" scares the hell out of you.
you get an unexpected present and fear that when you open it you will find a note that says "Next time, my way.".
you try to find out who tailored Kosh's encounter suit, because you want one too!
you cancel the dinner with your boss' family to watch reruns of season 2 and 3.
as you are driving on an on-ramp to the freeway, you yell "Activate jump gate sequence.".
you made a replica of Sheridan's uniform for Halloween.
... and you decide to wear it everyday anyway.
your favorite numbers are 181 and 47797, because they are B5 and BAB5, respectively, in hexadecimal.
you have two e-mail accounts, one for ordinary mail and the other for Babylon 5 related mail.
you look for B5 wallpaper and bedspreads to redecorate your room.
... and when you can't find anything, you make your own.
you've learned every word of Minbari spoken on B5.
you can't say three sentences without quoting Kosh.
... but you refuse to quote the new Kosh, thinking he's an imposter.
you buy a Sinclair computer and refer to it as "The One Who Was".
your sexual fantasies include Kosh.
... then you realize that they might not be just fantasies.
you refer to your divorce as "The Long, Twilight Struggle".
the Psi-Corps is your Father and Mother.
you want Brother Theo to preside over your wedding.
you wear a T-shirt that says "My boyfriend went to Z'ha'dum, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.".
you see an old jukebox in a bar, and you think its Kosh.
you write a political science paper on how it would be more efficient if we chose out leaders Drazi style.
you have all the episodes on tape - except for Babylon Squared, which disappeared 24 hours after taping it.
... and that doesn't surprise you at all.
you find out that the Death Star was built by independent contractors, whereas the Vorlon planet smasher "has always been there".
you keep having these dreams with a woman in a block of ice in them.
you go into mourning after Morden's execution.
you grow your beard to match Lorien's.
your favorite movie is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Z'ha'dum.
you give your friend a gift of a severed head on a pike for his garden.
you keep confusing the Daleks with the Vorlons.
it becomes a day of the week (i.e.: Monday, B5 Night, Wednesday, Thursday, ...).
other people drop by only on B5 Night to visit, because they know exactly where you will be.
you avoid saying "Aw hell" in public, on the off chance you might cause a massive firefight.
you honestly believe that the Babylon 5 Micromachine sets are an appropriate gift for an anniversary.
you celebrate St. Valen-tine's Day.
you watch the Cantina scene from Star Wars over and over again, looking for Drazi.
you check the bridal registry at Macy's for Delenn's name.
... you can't find it, so you go ahead and get her and John a toaster.
you can't remember if the Klingons are allied with the Vorlons or the Shadows.
you see a sign for a "Neighborhood Watch" and think it says "Nightwatch".
you wake up from a dream and have to see if you have a Keeper attached to your neck.
you are paralyzed with fear when you see a psychedelic random pattern screen-saver on any computer.
... so you immediately go in and delete the entire program.
... and then you go and quit work for no apparent reason.
a week after you get a new 2 gig hard drive, it's filled up with Babylon 5 sounds and pictures.
you organize a party at your house to celebrate Morden's death.
... then you try to go to Centauri Prime to hand-wave at his severed head.
you're three Commandments behind on penance.
you want to change your state's form of capital punishment to death by vivisection.
you ask your medieval history professor why he doesn't cover the Great Shadow War of the 12th century.
... then you think he must have been in the Earth-Minbari war and still holds a grudge.
anyone mentions their "associates" you run away screaming.
while watching The Empire Strikes Back, when Luke takes his long fall in Cloud City, you can swear that you hear him saying "Delenn!".
after watching The Illusion of Truth, you don't believe a thing the media says.
you try to trace you family history back to Valen.
you celebrate St. Pak'ma'ra's Day.
you search Toys R' Us looking for a Tickle-Me-Londo Doll.
you have nightmares where you discover Morden and Wesley Crusher are the same person.
you calculate your net worth, and the bulk of it is B5 memorabilia.
you wear a green shash to a kegger.
you can't listen to Gilbert and Sullivan without hearing Dr. Franklin's scream.
a mention of Ranger Rick brings an image of a pike wielding racoon.
you spend a substantial amount of time administrating a webring devoted to it.
you live for the One, and you die for the One.
you expect tailors to be Minbari.
your Pascal programs don't compile, because you keep writing <*> instead of <>.
... so you go and write a new Pascal compiler that defines the <*> operator.
... and you obviously call it "jumpgate".
you wonder why didn't the rebels simply kill the Death Star with the Shadow Planet Killer.
you were to be a god, you understand?
you spend a semester of art class making a 5 feet model of B5 out of paper maché and wireframe.
you build an encounter suit.
your Chemistry 2 thesis is "Integration of telepaths and Shadow neuro-circuitry".
you lose sleep for weeks thinking about Swedish meatballs.
your wife demands to know who this Delenn woman you keep mentioning in your sleep is.
you keep referring to Congress as The Centaurum.
your favorite pop group from the 70's is The G'Karpenters.
you're sent to the Principal's Office for saying "One nation, under Ivanova" during the Pledge of Allegiance.
your boss tells you to remove all your furniture out of your apartment "for the good of The Cause".
you end your speeches with "As a dear friend said to me: If you're falling off a mountain, you may as well try to fly.".
you need Babylon 5's resources more than you need the company (however pleasant).
you step on your pride... and fall on your honor!
you pity the Centauri, because they're on a course for self-destruction.
you talk to your girlfriend - the one stuck in the freezer.
you feel honored when your new shirt itches.
you try to take out your left eye to look at yourself.
... then you look at it to be sure it has a proper color.
you apply for membership in the Kha'Ri - there's so many vacants after the Centauri's abandonment of Narn you feel you'll be accepted.
you menace your enemies with "I'll nail your head to the table, set fire to it, and feed your remains to the Pak'ma'ra.".
you build your garage and give it a rotation of 30 degrees per second.
you remember to always look up so you don't run into things.
you bought a Jazz drive for the sole purpose of archiving your B5 stuff.
... and the stack is as tall as you are.
a spider is walking towards you and all you can think of is how long it will take to get the jump engines on-line.
... then you look to the ceiling and pray for a Narn cruiser to rescue you.
after an unexpected promotion, your first thought is... pastels.
on St. Patrick's Day, you want to destroy everything purple.
you hire a hit man to take out Clark.
... then you decide to include Bester, that guy from ISN, and hell while you're at it, the Nightwatch.
you start off your philosophy paper with "Consider the hand...".
you have flown to Geneva to picket at Earthdome about the unfair quarantine of Babylon 5.
you wonder why your liberal-arts college doesn't teach Interlac.
you kidnap the child of a Warner Bros. Exec. to ensure the production of season five.
you suddenly love chemistry because of coVALENt bonds and VALENce shell electrons.
you start constructing a White Star.
you're worried the White Star will run into a galactic iceberg.
you try connecting your computer to the Great Machine on Epsilon 3.
... neither ping nor finger nor telnet nor traceroute work, so you conclude the Great Machine has been cut off the Internet.
you get a papercut, and you're happily surprised.
you like Ivanova, because she's trouble.
you refer to Internet as StellarCom and your LAN as BabCom.
you want a G'Local-Area-Network.
you call JMS to complain when there's no John & Delenn scene in an entire episode.
your meaning of life has changed from 42 to B5.
you're pretty sure Dr. Franklin must have met Mr. Beeblebrox during his Hitchhiker days.
... and you think Dr. Franklin is the one who gave him the extra arm.
you see the Shadow War Chronicles at your local bookstore, and you think, "Funny, I didn't know George Lucas was a historian...".
you've just received shocking news, and the only thing you can think is "Funny, I... I wish Delenn was here.".
you're never more than three feet away from your link.
you keep referring to the Cloud City manager as Londo Calrissian.
you think the proverb goes "Curiosity killed the gok.".
you buy a Star Wars pop up book because there is a "Captain Kosh" hunting for the `droids!
you imitate the characters from the show in every day conversation.
you say "Never trust a smiling gok" rather than "a smiling cat".
you build a Triluminary device.
you construct a half-million megaton bomb and call it "the Weedwhacker".
your eyes see a giant octopus, and your mind sees a Na'ka'leen Feeder.
you go to work, and you tell your wife: "Well, honey, I'm off to fight legends.".
you ask your doctor if he uses a Copeland J5000.
you think you've caught Netter's syndrome.
... aggravated with Lake Syndrome.
your eyes see your girlfriend, and your mind sees Delenn.
you go to your favorite toy store looking for the Babylon 5 Monopoly Game.
you stop playing Warcraft II since the dwarves say "What do you want?".
your favorite Dr. Seuss book is "Green Eggs and Spoo".
you think Caracas is the capital of Valenzuela.
you do your physics term paper on Lennier motion.
... and it exclusively uses the Cartagian coordinate system!
you frame a picture of John and Delenn and display it on your shelf.
... and you bow before it 3 times a day.
... and 5 times on B5 day.
... and you frame a picture of G'Kar explaining he was your foreign exchange student.
... and you frame a picture of Marcus explaining he's your boyfriend.
you blame Marcus when you have no one else to blame.
you and your heart aren't speaking anymore.
you sew the initials JS into your baseball teddy bear.
you form a motorcycle gang called "Hell's Vorlons".
you want Christopher Franke to make theme music for you.
while writing about World War II, you describe 1943 as the year of fire, 1944 of the year of destruction and 1945 as the year we took back what was ours.
while watching Star Wars, you wonder why the Alliance won't use Thunderbolts.
you seriously believe Herod Agrippa was killed by Winston Churchill.
... and Churchill died in the attempt.
you have registered your own domain for your B5 site.
you try to call up Draal's holographic systems whenever you want to make an important call.
you have sworn to uphold the Earth Alliance Constitution.
... and you actually know what it says.
you are surprised to see Keffer alive in Wing Commander IV.
... then wonder why Earth doesn't use Starfuries anymore.
you buy a Home THX system, a HDTV and a LaserDisc player only to watch Babylon 5 in true cinema style.
you think lightsabers must be Minbari weapons.
you are master or owner of more than five B5-related channels on IRC.
your daily schedule always ends with: Watch a Babylon 5 tape.
you get a bad feeling when someone tells you "Watch your back".
the B5 universe is more real to you than the real world.
you pledge yourself to the Entil'zha.
you set up a Ranger training camp.
your friends tell you you're nuts because you can't talk about anything else than Babylon 5.
... and you take it as a compliment.
... or you just say: "You don't understand, but you will.".
... and, for a whole week after that, you expect to be killed in any moment.
you think Yoda must once have been Entil'Zha.
while playing Star Wars RPG, you wonder if the Quarren are distantly related to the Pak'ma'ra.
you think Ripley in Alien^3 was trying to impress a Centauri by shaving her head.
your cat lays on you in the middle of the night and you wake up screaming, mistaking your cat for a Keeper.
you reset the Netscape default home page location to The Lurkers' Guide on every computer you see.
all your slides for your Ph.D. thesis presentation have the B5 logo in the background.
... you acknowledge JMS and B5 at the end of your talk.
you spend one year learning to appreciate humor.
you think, after a hard days work at court, "Why does Ombuds Zimmerman never get these cases?".
in your will, you leave your entire fortune to JMS, to make sure the show goes on.
you can't wear an Earth Force uniform with a clear conscience.
... so you wear one of the nifty black ones instead.
you want to sign on for the Earth Force Academy.
you panic when you awake to find a black flower on your pillow.
you want to be alone, so you wear black gloves, hoping people will mistake you for Psi Corps and stay away.
you think that wearing black gloves to a Halloween party qualifies you for the "scariest" category of the costume contest.
you wonder why fashion magazines don't cover the latest in Centauri hairstyles.
your chat room nickname is "breen".
then you're afraid everyone will mistake you for swedish meatballs.
... and it's not even a B5 chat room.
you wonder wether the Shrike is a relative of the Shadows.
you wonder why the Yggdrasill won't travel by hyperspace.
you wonder what the hell are the farcasters doing in space.
you wonder if B4 was in one of the Time Tombs.
you feel insulted whenever anyone calls Babylon 5 "Just a TV show".
you have to wear a B5 T-shirt every B5 Night.
... and you have to wear a B5 T-shirt every day.
you try to slip your "ceremonial knife" onto your school.
you are set a task by a teacher, you tell him "Zathras is good at doing but not at understanding".
you talk to yourself and tell everyone that you're speaking with your associates.
you try and alter the frequency of your video camera to see Shadows.
you search for a Zarg in the hope that you'll be able to join with the universe through a pure creature.
whenever you organise meetings, you tell everyone to bring extra caps for their PPGs, just in case.
you search for the reason that there are swedish meatballs on every world.
you join the Church of Joe at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Zone/5737/.
you refuse to go to funerals because people will be wearing black arm bands.
you try to hatch a Globitt egg.
you go around knocking over termite nests to see if they evolve.
you make a cocoon out of paper maché in the corner of your living room and move in for a few weeks.
... and you get a friend to light candles and recite mantras for you while you're inside.
you always wanted to be an art major, but instead you take psychiatry so you can help Marcus to forgive himself "for being alive".
you say "Nuzin felani, en aleez bi drohn" to the woman you love.
... and she knows it for the compliment it is.
your fan fiction is so accurate, people think you're JMS in disguise.
you go "Woo hoo" every time you touch your girlfriend.
you set off a grenade in the subway, to see what your tax money's been doing all these years.
playing "I spy", you can't think of any object other than a box.
your PGP passphrase is "Lyta had a little Vorlon. Her skin was pale as snow. Everywhere that Lyta went, the Vorlon was sure to go.".
talking with someone, you realize he doesn't know a thing about the Shadow War, so you believe CNN is controlled by Clark - just as ISN is.
you begin creating and performing Tee'la.
you expect to have sex with your girlfriend with some people meditating in the nearby room.
you see someone taking off a glove, and you can't help but remember being trapped in a small room.
while playing Steel Panthers 2 you always buy Sheridan light tanks.
during a poker game you say, "One eyed G'Kars are wild.".
... and you're mortified, not because your friends think you're nuts, but because you insulted poor G'Kar.
you stop going to the local grocery store because they sell Clark bars!
you're depressed for a month after losing a pun contest when the final category was B5.
your favorite PBS children's show is Mr. Morden's Neighborhood.
your favorite album by The Clash is "Londo Calling".
there's an eclipse of the sun, and you think it's really a Vorlon planet killer.
your favorite thing on ESPN is PPG racing.
you cannot decide whether to celebrate May 3rd as Sinclair's birthday or as Valen's.
... so naturally you celebrate them both.
you know the floor plan of B5 better than your own house.
everyone asks you for information about Babylon 5.
you try and second guess what's going to happen in the show. And to your surprise, you're right!
you criticize President Clinton for not serving in the Earth-Minbari War.
your favorite Billy Joel song is Captain Jack.
your look through commercials frame by frame, looking for subliminal messages from Psi Corps.
your favorite R.E.M. song is The One I Love.
you want to place a Keeper around your significant other's neck.
you plan to have ten kids, all named Zathras.
you call your satellite provider, and demand to know why you can't pick up the Voice of the Resistance.
you've watched Into the Fire for the 100th time... this week.
you try to hire Garibaldi to find your dog.
you tell your kids to behave, or the Drakh will get them.
you won't write an omega in physics class - especially not with a black pen.
you try to interface with your office building.
you are going to celebrate the year 2000 with brevari and flarn.
you feel like dissecting Bester.
watching How The West Was Won, you think Sheridan messed with his time stabilizer again...
the only reason you can think of to buy Lightwave 3D is to make professional Babylon 5 animations for your website.
you wonder why the UN doesn't take any action against Clark for his crimes against human rights.
... then you get a horrible thought: What if the UN has also been infiltrated by the Shadows?
your favorite negotiating phrase is "Your only option is to surrender.".
the cable TV service is down, and you immediately attribute it to Clark's jamming.
... and you're surprised to see CNN is unavailable, too.
you invite your new girlfriend to perform the Shan'Fa ritual.
you are so tired, you feel like you've been carrying the station around on your back and crawling through broken glass for three years.
you're being persecuted by several crooks, and your only thought is "Docking Bay 3, Docking Bay 3".
you blow up asteroids and then tell people that nothing happened.
you think Morden killed Nichole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, and set up OJ.
you think fire hydrants are really tiny little Vorlons.
making plans, you always remind yourself not to put G'Kar before the horse.
you make plans to build a B5 themed hotel in Las Vegas.
... but postpone that to build another city first: New Vegas.
your phone bill lists twelve long distance calls to Centauri Prime.
you hire a new employee and stipulate in the contract your right to his body after his death.
you want a gok Beanie Baby.
you greet your best friends with pats on the shoulder to check for keepers.
you see a guy who looks just like Morden, and you wish you had a PPG handy.
you write a Minbari/English dictionary.
... and you try to find a publisher who is interested in publishing it.
... then you move on to write Narn/English and Centauri/English dictionaries.
... and then a handbook in understanding Vorlon platitudes.
you get mad at someone, and you call him a Shadow.
you trust yourself, you trust Ivanova, and shoot everyone else.
you wonder if Sheridan met Billy Pilgrim when he was unstuck in time.
you think the ancient city of Carthage was named after Cartagia.
while checking your location at a rest area map, you try to find an arrow that says "You have always been here.".
you spot Ponte Garibaldi, Via Garibaldi and Piazza Garibaldi in Rome and begin to feel a little bit proud of Mike.
you hear the song "I'm a Tiger" on the radio and understand "I'm a Fiver".
every time your parents fight, you tell them to get the hell out of your galaxy - both of them.
you can't sit through a slide-presentation on squids and other bizarre aquatic creatures without screaming out "VORLON!".
... everyone is much relieved when the class moves on to another subject until the next slide - a large black spider.
you talk about "Men In Black", you're referring to the Psi-cops.
you tell three friends of yours to go to Sector 83 and wait for orders.
you step into sunlight to end [and win] disputes.
... then you don't understand why the others call you a moron.
... and when they call you a bonehead, you take it as a compliment.
each time you enter the subway, you expect a Psi-cop to talk to you.
you rendezvous with a friend in a bar, and expect him to betray you.
you look as if a Pak'ma'ra just ate your cat.
you wonder why weren't the White Stars called to fight against the Borg cube assaulting Earth.
you look at an A-10 Thunderbolt II and wonder how it can convert it into a Starfury.
you wonder if Morden ever met Lamont Cranston.
you get your phone number changed to 382-6682, so it spells out IVANOVA.
you write Mattel requesting they make a Babylon 5 Barbie doll.
you wonder why Mutai fighters are never in the Ultimate Fighting Championships.
you dose off while writing, and when you wake up you shout "I didn't do it!".
you try to get Time-Warner to name its new Hockey Team the Atlanta Technomages.
you write Amnesty International, asking them to help free Sheridan.
you can't eat a corned beef sandwich for lunch without feeling nauseous.
you refuse to walk alone in the street, afraid you'll be attacked by the Drakh.
... and refuse police protection, because they drive in miserable cars and NOT in spiffy White Stars.
... and when you're finally assaulted by some crooks, you're relieved by the fact that they're all humans.
you avoid taking a vacation in San Diego because it might get nuked while you are there.
you hear that Warner Bros. won't renew B5 for season 5, and you decide to throw yourself into a long pit.
... but when you hear the TNT has picked up season 5, and will rerun the first 4 seasons every day, you decide that you have already killed yourself and are now in heaven.
you start a kinky game with your lover by asking her, "Do you have any allergies or illnesses I should be aware of?".
you decide to hire a Thenta Makur assassin to get rid of some enemy of yours.
... then you don't understand why you can't find them on the Yellow Pages.
... so you go ahead and leave a black flower at his bed, as a warning.
you walk down the street, stare at people's faces intently, and then mutter "Not da one, not da one.".
you own a PAL to NTSC Converting VCR because you can only get B5 tapes in PAL.
... and the credit card company has stopped calling you every time you order a new set of tapes.
you spend your entire vacation in Mexico City going between Garibaldi Square and the Zocalo looking for the alien sector.
going to a hotel, you make sure you won't be assigned to room 17.
you cooperate with the State for the good of the State and your own survival.
you see a box labeled "Soup Spoons" with the 'ns' obscured and you think, "So THAT'S how it's served!".
watching Ranma 1/2 becomes a psychological strain, because there is a character called the "Black Rose".
... and let's not begin with the Doctor Who story The Black Orchid!
you don't watch the show Bananas In Pyjamas anymore because you know that sooner or later B1 and B2 are gonna blow up.
you spend vast amounts of time contemplating the fact that Shadows can't exist without Light.
you throw out your Federation sofa and replace it with a Sheridan lounge.
you refuse to answer a question on your English exam because it is about the novel Of Love and Shadows.
you can only think of Lennier when you hear Blur's "Woo hoo" song.
your answering machine message is "Who are you? What do you want?".
you need to go to the Betty Ford Clinic for withdrawal during June, July and August.
you buy someone a drink and then say "beep beep" to them.
you wanna grow up to be just like Delenn.
you start a family fight 'cos one of your cousins is wearing purple and you are in green.
you have a shrine to the goddess Ivanova.
you think the geek code should have a much larger section on B5.
you go to the new Rolling Stones' Bridges to Babylon tour and wonder if JMS wrote any of the songs.
... then you wonder if any of the Rolling Stones are "First Ones".
... then you realize Keith Richards looks suspiciously like a Shadow Soldier.
... but then, a Shadow wouldn't say "You can't always get what you want".
... which, of course, means The Who are Vorlons, because their biggest hit is "Who Are You?"!
your idea of soul searching is driving a Tioga Walkabout RV.
the standard font on your computer is Minbari (and you have no problem reading it).
you wonder if it was one of Clark's ships or a White Star that really slammed into the Mir space station.
you petition the Russians to protect Mir by adding a few Cobra Bays.
... or at least a few pulse cannons!
you wonder why Mars Pathfinder hasn't spotted any dome cities or mass transit tubes.
you petition NASA to put the B5 emblem on the wings of the Space Shuttle.
you start walking around like a Drakh.
you keep raising up your leg, shouting "Zooty! Zoot! Zoot!".
you think that show about the 750 year old Time Lord is called Doctor Woo Hoo.
you try to get Macy's to put a Kosh balloon in its Thanksgiving Parade.
you find yourself looking up G'Karta in the index of your G'Karanda atlas.
you believe schizophrenia to be the results of early psi-corp experiments.
you play Doom and wonder why the Plasma Rifle doesn't look like a PPG.
you call hospitals "medlab".
you teach your kids "Lyta had a little Vorlon", instead of "Mary had a little lamb".
you begin to interact with the characters on B5--even when (or maybe especially when) the show's not on.
all you buy your kids is B5 merchandise off the web.
after watching Rising Star, you believe that the phrase is "Peeping G'Kar".
you have a Star Fury tattoo on your WHAT?!?
you claim to be the right hand of Vengeance.
you walk up to your worst enemy and whisper "Pain!".
you list your address as being "Between the Darkness and the Light".
... and your hobbies include "Sleeping in Light".
you think that the members of Pink Floyd are shadow agents, because of the lyric "'What do you want' from me".
someone asks you to keep an eye on something, and you instinctively reach to remove your left eye.
your church fires you as a Sunday School teacher because you taught the kids to sing "Valen loves me, this I know...".
your favorite puzzles on Wheel of Fortune are the "B4 and After" variety.
you watch old Lost In Space episodes and expect the robot to say "Danger, Lennier!".
you actually spend time thinking about:
1. how Centauri women handle their menstrual cycles
2. if Centauri condoms come in six-packs
you watch Walker: Texas Ranger and wonder why Chuck Norris is still on Earth while the rest of the Rangers are out fighting the Shadows.
you begin referring to the management team where you work as the Grey Council.
you go to a punk club, see someone with a Mohawk, and immediately wonder why he did his hair sideways.
at a deli, you see Cotto salami and wonder if Morden had anything to do with it.
on your wedding night, you frantically search the hotel room for an artificial eye.
you go to a Western clothing store and look for Narn-skin boots.
the tropical fish in your aquarium start looking more and more like Minbari war cruisers.
you wonder why the Galileo space probe hasn't detected that Shadow vessel on Ganymede yet (and then realize that NASA may already be under the control of the Shadows).
you hear the Talking Heads on the radio and suddenly realize that maybe that's what Cartagia was listening to in his private chambers.
you want Elton John to re-write Candle in the Wind as a tribute to Marcus.
you can't figure out a question during an exam, and you get the prof over to try to scan him/her.
... and he yells "Stop scanning me!".
you have an icon for a shadow vessel for your uninstaller.
it's not that your sexual fantasies involve B5 characters - it's that you stopped having fantasies that DON'T involve B5!
you stopped talking to a friend in academia when she discusses applying deconstruction to the study of history.
you want to hook yourself to the Alien Healing device to save Marcus.
you wonder if smuggling telepaths on the U.S. Army warships is a good way of sabotaging them, and what can be done to avoid this risk.
your heart almost stops when you hear your brother is playing Scorched Earth over the Internet on your computer!
you pretend to marry Lise Hapmtpon-Edgars for her money (and the other stuff too!).
you think The Unbearable Lightness of Being is a documentary about Vorlons.
you start fights in bars saying in 5 minutes you'll be the only one in the room still standing.
you wonder why minbari is an anagram for minibar when they can't drink alcohol.
you think Saddam Hussein is hiding Shadow technology in Iraq.
you think Trent Reznor's band is called Nine Inch Narns.
you write "Morden Lives" on the bathroom walls in bars.
not only is your VCR set to prerecord every B5 episode for when you are out of town, but you have memorized act lengths so you can start/stop it for each commercial.
you throw a ball, and you wonder why it doesn't curve because of the coriolis effect.
you look at pictures taken by Hale-Bopp and see an absence of stars in the background, yes, in the shape of a shadow cruiser.
World War Three has broken out, you are living in a radiated bomb shelter, and you wonder how this will affect TNT's ability to broadcast.
your parrot can recite the voiceovers for the opening credits for all four seasons.
you refuse to vote for any candidate named Clark in your local elections, not wanting to further his political career.
on Election Day, you see a "Sheridan for Mayor" sign and consider voting for him.
... and you don't even live in that city!
... so you decide to move there once it was announced that Sheridan won the election.
... but then you wonder if he can adequately serve the city without compromising his position as President of the Interstellar Alliance.
you think Motel 6 is a Centauri lovers' getaway.
... and find Super 8 motels to be extremely disturbing.
while watching The Empire Strikes Back, just before Darth Vader steps out onto the catwalk to tell Luke he is his father, you can swear you hear Kosh saying "Jump! Jump NOW!".
your favorite New Wave band is The B5-2's.
you read the legend of King Arthur and wonder why it says nothing about him joining the Narn Resistance.
you wonder if Marvin the Martian was a member of the Resistance.
you're taking diving lessons and when you look down all you can hear is a voice in the back of your mind shooting "jump".
you decide to go on walkabout round your cities worst area in the hope of meeting Franklin.
your favorite NFL player is either Falcons punter Dan Stryzinski or Lions lineman Tracy Scroggins.
you come up with new names for colors, like Earthforce Blue, Drazi Purple, Drazi Green, Shadow Black, and Council Grey.
you dial a wrong number on the phone... a lady answers and says, "Rate Watch, how may I direct your call?"... and you could swear she said "Nightwatch".
... and you have to call the number back at least five times because you truly believe she's saying Nightwatch.
you change song lyrics to fit different B5 situations.
you start to swear in Narn.
you drive past a sign advertising pre-natal care with the slogan "Listen to your heart(s)", and you think it's an oblique reference to the Centauri.
you desperately scour used bookstores, looking for JMS's books, so you can look for clues to the arc.
you can't sing the Hokey Pokey without reminding yourself that it doesn't really mean anything.
you don't just dream of B5 characters, but have dreams of yourself meeting cute Centauri men that have never appeared on the show.
every time you drive by Lake Koshkonong or think of the town Oshkosh, you get a huge grin on your face.
you wonder if Marvin the Martian was a member of the Resistance.
... and then remember that Martin The Martian was.
... and can't help but wonder how did he get away from Psi-Corps.
you try to pick up girls with "Will you follow me into fire, will you follow me into darkness?".
you call your broker about spoo futures.
you want to try to get Christopher Franke to play your wedding.
... and you want Londo to sing the "hokey-pokey" at the wedding reception.
you try to explain to your fiancee why you need 50 rituals before the wedding.
... and she understands!
you invite the entire cast and crew of B5 to your wedding.
... and ask JMS to give away the bride!
... and the ushers ask the guest his side, her side, or the league of non-aligned relatives.
you're making Christmas cookies with your mother and realize she is staring at you very strangely because you just asked what color icing she thinks you ought to put on the Vorlons.
you do your doctorial English thesis on the inherent poetry of B5 episode titles.
your pants are talking to you.
you believe everybody's cute, even yourself.
... but in purple, you're stunning!
you believe that the Three Wise Men were Technomages.
you shave with a G'Lette razor.
you put your VCR on your uninterruptible power supply and let the computer run on ordinary line power just to make sure you don't miss taping Babylon 5.
your most elusive cat is named Kosh.
you see a local newspaper headline in the supermarket that says Clark is on Feb 3 ballot and you can't help but scream.
you like pres Clinton but won't be responsible for your actions if the latest scandal interrupts a B5 broadcast (even if it's just a rerun).
you think All4One is singing to Morden, because they sing, "I swear, by the SHADOW that's by your side".
you think the theme to The Bodyguard was Whitney Houston's "And I Will Always Love Spoo".
you hear "There can be only one!" while watching Highlander and wonder if they're talking about Sinclair, Delenn, or Sheridan.
... you see a sea urchin sticking out from behind a piece of coral, while visiting an aquarium, and the first thing that pops into your head is "Oh wow, a shadow vessel.".
you see a new book called "Sleepers" and you wonder how you've missed the B5 novel about the Psi Corps.
you freak out in the school book store when you see the Psi-Corps symbol on the back of your psychology book.
... and you decide that it's all Psi-Corps propaganda.
you stiff up and reach for a PPG when your parents explain to you that you're not quite the same, and you should do as you're told!
you search every jewelry store looking for a ranger pin.
you want to be just like Ivanova when you grow up.
you always wish your boyfriend/husband would say "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met" in Minbari.
you wonder why Marcus didn't get the same attention on B5 that Princess Di did on Earth when she died.
you try to get JMS to lecture at your college about the The Great Shadow War of the Medieval Period.
you won't check into a hotel on a business trip unless their "Free Cable" has TNT.
you get arrested for spray painting Narn resistance slogans on highway overpasses.
you have framed pictures of Londo & G'Kar, Delenn & John, and Kosh on your work desk instead of your parents, your kids, and your wife!
you remember scenes from episodes you've never seen.
you attempt to eject your teddy bear into space.
every time you see a long word starting with "Ag-", you automatically think "Agamemnon".
everyday at the office, you show up in a Vorlon encounter suit.
... except "dress down" day when you show up as a glowing angel!
you switch your company's "music on hold" tape with an edited collection of the greatest B5 lines ever.
to increase your chances of scoring on a Friday night, you grow a goatee, wear a long brown wig, and carry a 6 foot shiny steel rod!
you laugh at the entries in this list, but secretly know that you've done them all.
you threaten people you don't like with a visit from the Narn Bat Squad.
you look in the phone look for a listing of the local division of the Narn Bat Squad.
... and you can't find one, so you start your own.
every time you are introduced to a John, Jeffrey, Michael or Susan you mentally supply them with the last name of Sheridan, Sinclair, Garibaldi or Ivanova.
you think about what it would be like to have dinner with Morden.
you dream about a night with Londo.
you envy Delenn because she married Sheridan (or vice-versa).
you think YES' song "Hearts" is a pro-Centauri song, because it clearly says "Two hearts are better than one".
you recognize every phrase and image in season 5's title sequence the very first time you watch it.
you swear to wash your own socks to keep Sargent Slaughter happy.
you'd rather drink bravari than any other alcoholic beverage.
... and when you do, you fear you'll suffer a heart attack.
... and you believe that saying you're sorry should be enough to get rid of the hangover.
you quit coffee in order to get G'Kar to lend you his book.
you ask where the Shirley Temple is located.
your have an inner voice that smiles.
a friend of yours is assaulted and almost killed, so you decide to apply Mora'Dum.
you wonder how many Vorlons could fit on the head of a pin.
your new school principal, Dr. Clark, starts to talk about enforcing the new dress code, so you and all your class jump up and announce that your class is seceding from the rest of the school.
you add "j-u-m-p-" on the front of your "gateway 2000" computer.
... then you wonder why the runway lights are off.
you wonder which bookstore clerk messed up and put In The Beginning in the fiction/sci-fi section.
... so you put it where it belongs - the reference/world events.
you've driven all through car lots, airports, chop shops, etcetera, looking for a used starfury.
you listen to the song In The Beginning from the movie Anastasia and realize they apply to John and Delenn.
you go to your club, and you swear the front sign reads "All MINBARI Must Sign in Guests." instead of "All Members Must Sign in Guests.".
you wonder if Earthforce veterans of the Minbari war are upset that B5 is televised on a network owned by Jane Fonda's husband.
your church members ask you to read from the Book of John (Bible) and you say: "It was the dawn of the third age of mankind...".
you hear the Steely Dan song "Babylon Sisters" and you think of Lizzie Sheridan.
you turn on your cellular phone, and the message that appears is "5 - BABCOM".
you find a restaurant called "Garibaldi Pizzas", and enter to ask wether they got Bagna Cauda in the menu.
a student of yours, that hasn't worked in all the semester, asks you what does he have to do in order to pass, and you tell him [with a straight face] "The avalanche has already started; it's too late for the pebbles to vote.".
you petition the Ministry of Defence to re-equip the Air Force with Starfuries.
you think that it was a Shadow talking when your modem got connected to the Internet.
you're watching 2010, and when they are near Io you think that they will run into the jumpgate that is over there.
you don't trust anything or anybody that has the Clark name attached to it/him.
you hold bi-monthly meetings debating wether JMS or Ivanova is the TRUE god.
... and you don't think it's strange that you're debating it with a bunch of decapitated heads.
in your dreams you are told what to send to [email protected].
... and your father tells you what to type!
you begin conversations with "Damnit Delenn...".
you try to get your church to sing the song "And the rock cried out no hiding place...".
you see people with burnt-out eyes on X-Files and think they are Vorlon enhanced.
you search for Sheridans on the university phonebook so that you can marry his ancestor (who hopefully looks as good as him).
... when you can't find that, you search for Cole.
you watch A Wing and a Prayer and wonder how Ivanova got such a wiener husband... even if she was on the rebound after Marcus...
you have about 20 friends you want to introduce to Franklin.
you wonder if you would see your whole life flash before your eyes or only the really bad parts if you had sex with a P12.
... and then you decide to just avoid teeps altogether.
you promise to remember Byron.
you write to the Franklin Mint, requesting that they issue a Babylon 5 chess set (and even have recommendations as to which character should represent which piece!).
you start running the tapes backwards to see if you've missed anything.
you get sued, and retain the law firm of Morden & Associates to represent you because you know they can get you what you want.
your company relocates you to Southern California, so you decide to move to VALENcia.
you can only recite Emily Dickinson poems to the tune of The Yellow Rose of Texas.
you watch the new Lost in Space movie and can't get over the fact that Will Robinson is building the Great Machine, Dr. Smith turns into a Shadow, and the first robot looks like Kosh's encounter suit!
you begin referring to your karate instructor as the Muta-Do.
your sexual fantasies include Sheridan.
you're setting up a Windows NT network, and you name the NT Domain "EPSILON3".
... and you name the primary domain controller "DRAAL".
... and then you establish a trust relationship with the "BABYLON5" domain.
... and assign rights to users JSHERIDAN, SIVANOVA, and DELENN in the BABYLON5 domain.
... and you wonder why you can't name your workstations ZATHRAS, ZATHRAS, ZATHRAS, ZATHRAS, and ZATHRAS with slight differences in pronunciation.
you make a Ranger fighting pike out of a toilet paper tube.
... and you carry it around with you everywhere you go because you never know when you might run into one of Morden's associates.
... and any time someone tries to break into your house, or steal your purse or car keys, you whip it out and challenge him to Denn'Shar.
there is an earthquake, so you run to the window hoping to see the White Star fleet.
you realize that the aliens in Close Encounters of the Third Kind were really the Vree.
you think the Franklin Institute was named after Stephen, not Ben.
... and you search all over for the Xenobiology exhibit.
you do a report on a great humanitarian called "Abrahamo Linconi".
you have your name legally changed to that of your favorite character.
you stand outside Andreas Katsulas' door, waiting for divine wisdom.
hypnosis reveals that you have been abducted by Streibs.
you go to McDonalds for take out and order "spoo to go".
you change your name to Anla'Shok.
as Valedictorian of your high-school graduation, your speech opens with the words describing the year as "It was the year of fire, the year of destruction ...".
you have an EA suit.
you look for Epsilon 3 on NASA's star maps.
you have a stone garden just like Delenn's.
you open a McBari's franchise in your neighborhood.
you call someone who has ripped you off in a scam a G'Quan artist.
you try to call up the Fresh Air restaurant for a pizza.
you name your company car the Maria.
you call up the UN, and ask for Ambassador Bagna Cauda.
you call irish coffee, "the special" coffee.
you suggest to your ex-wife the divorce proceedings can best be expedited with a White Star vessel and two thermonuclear devices!
you keep checking the calendar to ensure you haven't missed the release date of the next B5 video, even when you already have the whole series taped.
you worry about Vorlon expressionism.
you dance around your boy/girl friend singing "Boom shakalaka...".
you distrust a corned beef sandwich when offered to you, especially if on white bread with mustard.
you go to a hospital A&E department and expect Dr. Franklin to be the chief of staff.
at the airport you expect to see a Vorlon ship at Gate 13.
you read the legend of King Arthur, and wonder why it doesn't mention the Lady of the Lake having a bone on her head.
you refer to your vehicle as a Carfury.
you look behind the mask that you are forced to wear and see only emptiness, and then you remember it's B5 night!
every time you leave a room, you picture a ship jumping into hyperspace.
you do a presentation of it every time it's your turn in Acting class.
you want to do your term paper based on Babylon 5.
you brush your teeth with your fingers (preferably in gloves).
... and make a habit out of gulping the water afterwards.
sometimes you think that the "messiah" in deep impact looks like a white star.
you like the song Summer in the City just because of the line "doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city".
your jokes all end with the punchline "zoot zoot".
you sit for hours pondering the questions "who am I", and "What do I want", in case a Vorlon or Shadow ever shows up to ask you.
you declare that you are seceding from the Earth Alliance when you leave the dinner table.
you actually understand the languages of other races without translations on the bottom of the screen.
you start to collect beans that you think look like the B5 cast.
you start to ponder whether or not Mack was right when he said the White Stars look like plucked chickens.
you re-enact B5's separation from the Earth Alliance by request for your coworkers.
you think your bombing Narn but your really throwing meatballs at your 5 year old son.
you blame the Shadows for El Niño.
you blame the Vorlons for El Niño.
you automatically assume that all companies with ASSOCIATES written in the name means that they are working for the Shadows.
whenever you hear Sinclair speak in season 3, you write it on a mirror, hang yourself upside down, and try to understand what he is saying.
all your parties are B5 theme related.
you throw people out of three story windows when you think they are telepaths, just because you want to be like Ivanova.
you force your friends to watch B5 and threaten them with an electro-whip.
you try to get stabbed on walkabouts so you can "find yourself".
you buy all the B5 clothes slowly, and end up wearing them 365 days a year.
all of your dirty sexual fantasies star Byron or Zack.
you declare JMS as the world's greatest philosopher for your final philosophy exam, and you can quote entire episodes as evidence.
you start studying Italian history for clues on the fate of the Centauri.
you go into a church to confess and refuse to talk to anyone except Brother Theo or Delenn.
you can pick out Harlan Ellison's voice in a crowd but couldn't recognize his face on a dare.
your FIRST sexual fantasies involved Zathras being "very good at doing".
you dress up as Psi-Corps for a costume party and expect everyone to know who you are.
you hear the word Babylon, so you assume that 5 will be after it.
you are a little worried about going into a room with the letters B4, but are happy to go into a room marked with B5 even if that isn't the room that isn't the room you aren't supposed to go into.
you change your AOL account to [email protected] or [email protected].
you blame yourself for not belaying the order to fire upon Minbari ships.
you wonder why Columbo never uses HIS artificial eye for surveillance.
an HGV goes past and it's like you hear a scream in your mind.
your mind is quiet enough to hear Kosh.
B5 is all that faith requires.
your solution to any major problem is to break out the nukes.
you believe you have the capacity to walk among the stars like a giant.
your favorite Tangerine Dream CD is In The Beginning.
you know how many versions there are of the Requiem for the Line.
you have all of Chris Franke's B5 CDs.
... including some more than once.
... and you know how many times each piece of incidental music appears in the series.
you think that all of the problems in your life never would have happened if the humans hadn't started fighting with one another.
you've memorized the number of ridges in Delenn's head bone.
you try to kill Byron because he said "A better place than this", and you consider it blasphemy.
you see a street sign that reads "Morden Road" and swear you will never drive on it.
... and then wonder if it ends in a dead end.
you call Saint Michael "Entil'Zha".
you walk into a dark room and say, "Lights!".
you contemplate the idea that JMS might BE God...
... but if he's an atheist, then that means nothing exists...
upon bumping into someone, you babble, "much apologizings - was thinking great thoughts - did not see you!".
while rummaging through your disorganized toolbox, you grumble, "this - is wrong tool", until you find the right one.
as head altar-server in your church, you decide to call your trainees "the Order of Zathras".
whenever someone ignores your advice, you grumble, "no-one listens to poor Zathras".
you're in London's subway, and you worry about passing through the "Morden" station.
you advise your friend that he had bester get kosh to pay for G'Kar.
you read "Ivanovation" instead of "innovation".
you consider to go and buy a bottle of "Sheridan's double liquor".
... and actually do so!
the only pasta you use is - of course - Garibaldi pasta.
your car bumper sticker reads "There's no life after B5".
you get a call from your mother on your birthday and look for a hidden message.
you phantasize about Lyta, Ivanova, Delenn, Talia and you alone on an island.
your favorite song is I'm the Very Model of a Modern Major General... even though you don't care at all about Gilbert and Sullivan.
you book your buddy and yourself on a hotel as honeymooners so nobody would suspect anything.
you remember the time when your mother said she had eyes on the back of her head and start wondering how deep did the Vorlon alterations on humans really went.
you drop out of a diplomatic career, fearing an ambassador may require a physical "sealing" of the agreement.
your Winamp playlist includes every track from every Babylon 5 CD ever made.
... and when one song ends, you start humming the next.
you turn off the computer, and spend the rest of the day humming them. In order.
your idea for a college thesis is why Deep Space Nine is ten times worse than Babylon 5.
... but you discard the idea because you feel it needs not to be proven.
any time you speak to someone you end your conversations with: "Stay close to the Vorlon and watch out for Shadows: They move when you're not looking.".
you name your thesis on Morgana le Fay "A Late Delivery From Avalon: Who is Morgana le Fay?".
your Early English History Prof talks about the great council being made up of only warriors, and you wonder if Valen knew about this.
whenever you are up between 3 and 4 am you pour yourself one tall glass of vodka, and four short ones - for the wolf's cubs.
you spent your vacation checking all of JMS's posts about Talia winters to make a logical decision about whether or not she and Ivanova were lovers.
you frequently ask friends if they've received any messages from your dead mentor.
the server names on your network are planets in the B5 universe, and the clients are the commanders/ambassadors from those planets.
before pulling into your garage, you try to match your car's rotation to your house.
you buy large quantities of bacon and eggs from the supermarket, and yell "You fools!" as you leave the checkout.
the last line of your will says "I wish I'd seen a Vorlon".
every time you lose money at a casino, you expect Garibaldi to give you more credits.
you go to Radio Shack and ask for a changeling net.
you go to the nearest jewish temple looking for a Rabbi by the name of Koslov.
the eye is looking for you.
you think you have a Vorlon inside you.
you try to re-enact Sheridan's maneuver over Z'Ha'Dum with your car and two gasoline jugs.
you decide if you ever come back from the dead, you'd giving Sheridan's speech about aligning the races.
you wake up screaming, because you are still shocked from the Minbari/Earth War.
you still cry at the end of Sleeping in Light after watching it a hundred times.
you decide to take all of your money off your account and put it into the REAL telepath fund.
every morning you wake up to watch the sunrise and think of John.
... and raise your left hand at the sun.
you encourage you children to play tennis like Mary Garibaldi does.
you start taking Sunday drives.
you think the song Me and My Shadow should be called "Me and My Shadows".
... then you wonder if it was Morden's favorite song.
you think the song Born Free is really "Born Vree".
you name your newborn son David and you make him a little Minbari bone to wear on his head.
... and you make him keep it on indefinitely.
you start a stop smoking program in honor of Neroon and use the Morden motto "Quit while you're ahead...".
you think the Jem'Hadar look too much like the Drakh for their own good.
you think Amnesty International doesn't understand the concept of "human rights", because you told them about Cartagia's abuse of G'Kar and they didn't really listen to you.
you make statuettes of G'Kar and worship them.
you want to boycott the station as long as G'Kar won't go back to Narn.
you feel G'Kar OWES you.
you brag about your recently bought car - only 240 lightyears.
you want to sit at G'Kar's feet and learn from him.
you think God sings with the voice of the Pak'Ma'ra.
you buy a G'Kar action figure only to hold it up and chant "G'Kar! G'Kar!" whenever HE appears on screen.
you keep trying to blame the "Sheridan/Garibaldi effect".
you try to get the image of Captain Lochley for use in your local holobrothel.
you want to buy a lovebat.
you keep putting yourself into positions where your last words will be "Too many! Too many!".
you try to make a spoo sandwich for lunch.
your only insult is "Spoo for brains".
you turn on all the lights before you go to sleep so you can be sleeping in light.
you get a new copy of the AOL 4.0 software and exclaim "I didn't know there were four Armies Of Light!".
you refer to your basement as downbelow.
... and you allow the lurkers to continuing living there since they were just looking for a better life.
you refuse to run software from Electronic Arts because you know that the EA has been inflitrated by the shadows and you don't want to use shadow tech.
... and you're also worried that the software would contain subliminal messages from the Psi Corps.
you find a new virus on your computer and you wonder what you did to irritate a technomage.
you have to stop yourself from ordering spoo in a restaurant.
... because you remember that you better ask the waiter how fresh it is first.
you refer to your backpack as being "Omega Class", then when you get a new bigger backpack, you call it "Warlock Class".
you call the black and white chess-pieces "Shadows" and "Vorlons".
you plan to have your body cryogenically frozen with instructions to be revived in the year Babylon 5 goes online.
... the purpose of this is so you can save Marcus Cole from his written fate.
you use the word "spoo" so often, it has become a part of your family's vocabulary.
you start calling every one Kosh... since we are all Kosh!
you go on a murderous rampage when your sister tapes over Sleeping in Light with an episode of Dawson's Creek.
you refer to maintenance workers as "worker-class".
you write about the Gulf of Talia resolution in your Vietnam paper.
you know the prophets are wrong when they call Sisko "linear" because we all know time is circular... cuz Delenn said so!
you own a shirt that says "Ivanova 3:16".
you don't want to introduce your sister to Lennier anymore.
it's obvious to you that the song Father of Mine by Everclear is referring to Franklin's father.
you know the Third Eye Blind song Jumper is about Sheridan but wonder why the video wasn't filmed on Z'ha'dum.
you buy only the best fake roses for your significant other.
... and leave them on her porch.
after watching Wag The Dog, you wonder what LefCourt did to be busted down to charter flight pilot.
you wonder why the Army Of Light didn't just put the Shadows in a White Room, where as Eric Clapton says, "the shadows run from themselves".
seeing the end of season 5 is your sole reason for existence.
"OH my gosh!" turns into "OH my KOSH!".
you listen to the song Into the Fire from the Scarlet Pimpernel because you think it's for B5.
you believe that King Crimson's famous song is called "23rd Century Schizoid Narn".
you petition the Department of the Treasury to re-print all of the money, because it says "In God We Trust", and not "In Ivanova We Trust".
you begin taking calcium supplements, hoping that you'll grow an exoskeleton bone like the Minbari.
you write to your Governor telling him to implement Spacing as a form of capital punishment.
... then you realize that it is only for treason/mutiny and suggest mind wipes instead.
you think the Gulf War Syndrome is a biogenetic plague the Iraqis got from the Shadows.
you can't find the NYSE symbol for Interplanetary Expeditions.
... so you decide to invest in Quantium-40 commodities instead.
you swear the new Euro looks like Centauri Ducats.
you start saying "Like my grandfather used to say: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!".
you start looking for nude pictures of Na'Toth on the Internet.
you are watching the Red Dwarf episode Future Echoes, and you wonder when will Zathras show up.
you assume there will be a five after the word "Babylon".
you think the ship Red Dwarf is actually Babylon 4.
you wonder why Zack never sang Ebony Eyes to Lyta.
after counting the number of times the word "shadows" occurs in every song, you conclude Jimmy Page must have been an "associate" of the Shadows while he was with The Firm.
you try and get JMS to put Major Atumbe in Crusade, just so you can see what he looks like.
you spend hours trying to think of a way of writing a character you play would appear in Crusade without ruining the arc.
you never start a fight, but always finish it.
you hold a bake sale to help Sci-Fi Channel raise the money for the last four seasons of Crusade.
you react violently if someone invites you to take a seat WITHOUT using the "please" word.
you ask for oxy-pills to get over a hangover.
you see a plaque that reads "Walk with your face to the sun, and the shadows will be at your back.", and that totally ruins your day.
you appreciate Swedish meatballs as a culinary masterpiece.
you think I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash is an elegy in memory of EarthForce's sacrifice in the Earth/Minbari War and especially its last battle.
you start your own order of Technomages.
you think that your school's older teachers know Lorien.
... and that the school is controlled by Vorlons.
you wonder how DS9 has gravity since the station's not spinning.
in your art class, the only thing you do for your sketches are B5 ships.
ever since Sleeping in Light you keep having emotional breakdowns - so you schedule your 23rd appointment with a shrink.
you try to get a data crystal reader for your computer.
you build a panel of crystals like the ones on the whitestars, and you use it as your keyboard.
getting new glasses, you refuse to let them measure your head with that thing, because you think it'll make you usable in a shadow ship.
you give your friend implants and hook him into your motherboard in an attempt to make him the CPU - but he gets out of control, so you put him in your freezer.
you buy bulk aluminum, paint it blue with sparkles, cut it into 4 pieces, and put it on your car in an attempt to make it work like it does on a vorlon ship decelerating.
in class, you talk to your silver pen because you think it's a link to C&C.
you try to get MasterCard to come out with identicards.
you wonder why the ISA didn't attack the Trade Federation during their occupation of Naboo.
traveling on a dirt road, you get lost because you can't find a hyperspace beacon.
... so you call for help on your cell, and you expect starfuries to come for you.
you lobby the U.S. to get a planetary defense network.
you think that the Vorlons caused Challenger to blow up to keep us from getting our hands on advanced technology.
you're upset because neither the Vorlon nor the Shadow Planet Killer destroyed Naboo.
you know how to say "The Shadows have returned to Z'Ha'Dum." in many foreign languages in order to warn everyone about the Shadows.
you download pictures from the Hubble telescope and search them, looking for shadow ships.
you try to write a political speech and realize that every other line is from B5.
you can quote more B5 than Shakespeare... and you're a theater major.
you write a computer program to randomly spit out combinations of 14 words, in hopes of coming up with "that" 14.
you play Magic: The Gathering, and everytime you attack with your creatures you say: "We live for the ONE, we die for the ONE!".
you hate to play Black in Magic: The Gathering because some creatures have "SHADOW" as an ability.
someone offers peanuts to you, and you can't think of anything but severed heads.
you want to be cryogenically frozen so you can be revived in the future and relieve Marcus of his virginity.
you wonder if the coralskippers in the Star Wars novel Vector Prime are leftover Shadow tech.
you use mass drivers to resolve disputes, but feel really guilty about it.
you agree to allow the Shadows to occupy your basement.
... later, you blow up the basement to get rid of them.
you want to shag Ivanova. No, wait. That just means you're male, and breathing.
... you'd even be willing to shag her "human style."
you only buy gas at Sinclair stations.
you look forward to the day your distant descendant dons his first encounter suit.
you keep your B5 tapes in a bomb shelter, so that they may survive the Great Burn.
you've gathered convincing evidence that a Vorlon cruiser was the REAL father of Moira's baby on Farscape.
you remember those classic 8-bit games: Super Pak'Ma'Rio Bros. and Pac'man'ra... and of course, Ikari Vorlons.
you associate Microsoft Whistler OS with B5, since the latest build number is 2257.
you write an essay on the Third Age of mankind.
you contact Netter Digital to get one of those nifty artificial eyes.
you believe you have been touched by the Vorlons.
you name your dogs John and Delenn.
you begin to believe that we are the universe made manifest.
you only date those who would submit to watching Babylon 5 in its entirety.
you watch your daily news and right before the anchor speaks you say to yourself, "This is ISN".
you keep going to the store to buy DVDs of Babylon 5 and getting sent away.
you spend a lot of time wondering did Valen's children have hair? Or do they look like Delenn?
you can't stop humming your favorite song, "Who Let The Narn Out?".
your eyes see Bush and Gore, and your brain sees a Vorlon and Shadow.
you dress up as a Minbari for Halloween.
you don't dare to sing anything resembling Gilbert & Sullivan while you prepare dinner, for you fear someone will arrive with an assassination warning.
you wonder where they got the Zarg that Arnie killed in Predator.
after hearing a friend say something smart, you compliment him by saying "You talk like a Minbari.".
... and you don't understand when they ask you what the hell are you talking about.
you get into elevators, and scream "YES!!!" at the top of your voice.
you are wary of any gift that comes with a few minor modifications... especially from Lochley.
the news ticker on MSN starts off "Clarke poi..." and you think President Clark's been poisoned! But then it continues: "Clarke poised to take over..." and you panic! Then you discover it's UK politics, and lose interest.
you get a sailing boat and follow the Italian aircraft carrier Garibaldi wherever it goes.
the name of the progressive rock band Spock's Beard doesn't ring any bell to you.
you think Spock's Beard are singing about Morden's inner doubts, because their song The Light contains the lyrics: I live the life of a Shadow / The only chance that I have now / Is there... in the light.
you think Kenny from South Park looks like a Vorlon.
you fear your girlfriend's PMS is attributed to a Keeper's influence.
... so you proceed to get her drunk once a month in hopes it will fall asleep.
you hear a clock go tick tock and start thinking: are you closer to tick or are you closer to tock...
you drive your car like a starfury but find that its not as maneuverable as the real thing.
you have a pet spoo.
you check your local phone listings trying to find Rebo & Zooty so you can ask them to play at your next birthday party.
you have your flying license revoked after attempting to recreate Sheridan's whitestar dive in "Messages from Earth".
you constantly quote classic literature, but always replace character names with "Marcus".
you walk into your first class lecture, where the TA announces his name is Mr. Morden, and either he or one of his associates will be teaching the class and you can't help but run out screaming.
you appeal an exam grade in Anthropology on the basis that the Professor can't prove the Vorlon had nothing to do with the rise and fall of the Mayans.
you refer to your last minute cramming for exams as "Reflection. Surprise. Terror. For the Future.".
you can't be sure if the US mint-issued B5 quarters you saw yesterday are real or just a vivid dream.
... and that cool PPG.
you have sent hate mail to Sierra for cancelling the B5 game.
you believe you should carry around an encounter suit, just in case visitors from outer space visit you.
you study Russian to be able to impress Ivanova if you ever meet her.
you see another alien abduction film or news bulletin and think to yourself, "The Vree are gonna get so busted for this, he he.".
you call insomnia "Sleeping in Light".
you have made rosin statuettes of all the Babylon 5 cast.
you make a Sharlin class Cruiser out of Legos.
... and never needed to even look at a picture while building it.
you watch The Matrix Reloaded and can't quite figure out how Morpheus doesn't kill himself over the fact that he is wearing both green and purple!
you try to contact the Anla-Shok Memorial Fund so you can give them a donation, but are never able to get a hold of them.
B5 has given you all of your moral values.
people refer to you as Ivanova because you can't talk without quoting her.
you think about dating a Centauri woman but decide it will never work because you won't get past one.
you go through withdrawal after Ivanova leaves the station.
you envision Londo and Adira playing strip poker, and wonder if Londo would still try to cheat.
you petition the government to chisel cities out of the Grand Canyon, but lament the fact the cities would not be crystalline.
when people ask questions you don't want to answer, you start to chant "Cee toh ree cho mon toh ray" over and over again.
you're a follower of Byron, even though you're a mundane.
you are actually waiting for the Day of the Dead in 2062.
you have an "Army of Light" uniform.
you try to order zerka fabric.
you keep calling your driver's license your identicard.
you only buy gas at Sinclair stations, in the hope that it will transport you 1000 years into the past.
while watching Grease, you wonder what Zack is doing as an undercover cop.
when watching Secrets of the Soul you see yourself, not Lyta, in the Vorlon test tube.
you believe that the future is always born in pain.
And you really know it when:
you worship JMS.

This used to be a work of my own: many people have contributed, so now only about 15% of the entries are mine. Here they are:

Miguel Farah (why, myself): 224 entries
Andrew Arensburger (arensb -[at]- cfar.umd.edu): 1 entry
Mike Dymond (0224636 -[at]- acad.nwmissouri.edu): 11 entries
Ray Price (ray.price -[at]- sdrc.com): 2 entries
Joey Price (jprice -[at]- WCUVAX1.WCU.EDU): 2 entries
Joey Lindstrom (lindstrj -[at]- cadvision.com): 1 entry
Bob & Brenda Daverin (bdaverin -[at]- best.com): 8 entries
Dave Barker (dabarker -[at]- vassar.edu): 1 entry
Eric Huber (huber -[at]- la-paz.CCIT.Arizona.EDU): 1 entry
Dale Richardson (dricha51 -[at]- maine.maine.edu): 1 entry
Elizabeth Pringle (empp1 -[at]- cus.cam.ac.uk): 2 entries
Jim Dawson (jdawson -[at]- anet-stl.com): 37 entries
name unknown (b6ws2 -[at]- email_address): 1 entry
Robert Camama (rcamama -[at]- ccwf.cc.utexas.edu): 1 entry
JMS himself (straczynski -[at]- genie.geis.com): 1 entry
David Damico (ddamic -[at]- mail-sh.lsumc.edu): 10 entries
Jason Silverthorn (jsilver -[at]- bb.iu.net): 1 entry
name unknown (rcarson -[at]- ior.com): 1 entry
Jerry (rudasill -[at]- ccat.sas.upenn.edu): 2 entries
Sean Martin Newton (smn8714 -[at]- apsu01.apsu.edu) & Cayce Hutchins: 35 entries
Dennis Parslow (dgp -[at]- world.std.com): 1 entry
Tobias Giles (Tobias_Giles -[at]- qmgate.arc.nasa.gov): 1 entry
Timothy A Cooke (tack -[at]- mailserv.mta.ca): 1 entry
Christian Lassonde (cplassonde -[at]- xe.com): 1 entry
Rachel Thurston (surak -[at]- eek.student.cwru.edu): 3 entries
Omar El Shami (oelshami -[at]- pepperdine.edu): 1 entry
Rylie Hilscher (hils0249 -[at]- tao.sosc.osshe.edu): 1 entry
Tom Berube (TRBerube -[at]- cris.com): 1 entry
Shirley Hunt (shunt -[at]- dl.com): 8 entries
James A. Wolf (jawolf -[at]- tiac.net): 82 entries
Penny Olivier (penny -[at]- maui.net): 11 entries
Lord Zieg (dzieger -[at]- ma.org): 6 entries
Victor Blackwood (Jkent -[at]- isc901.jsc.nasa.gov): 3 entries
J.M. Egolf (jegolf -[at]- xnet.com): 1 entry
Hannu Rummukainen (hrummuka -[at]- cc.hut.fi): 10 entries
Lori J. S. Nicol (lnicol -[at]- biosci.cbs.umn.edu): 8 entries
Tim King (timk -[at]- cybercom.net): 1 entry
Rebecca Lehmann (rlehmann -[at]- uiuc.edu): 2 entries
Candice (CBalkcom -[at]- ici.iconnection.com): 1 entry
Andrew Wester (Wester -[at]- murray.fordham.edu): 1 entry
Andre Nantel (nantel -[at]- biotech.lan.nrc.ca): 1 entry
Jackson Dodd (jdodd -[at]- uclink4.berkeley.edu): 1 entry
John Fox (jfox -[at]- mind.net): 1 entry
Ralf Niehaus (rniehaus -[at]- pacific.mps.OHIO-STATE.EDU): 1 entry
Mary Richards (aae826 -[at]- Waldo.Angelo.Edu): 1 entry
MR Michael J Gallagher (MMFF37A -[at]- prodigy.com): 2 entries
A.L. Shefl (als24 -[at]- cus.cam.ac.uk): 2 entries
Philip A. Rising (Philip.A.Rising -[at]- att.com): 2 entries
Darin R. Stephenson (dstephen -[at]- euclid.ucsd.edu): 1 entry
Michael Alex (darqman -[at]- escape.com): 38 entries
Henrik Herranen (leopold -[at]- cs.tut.fi): 1 entry
Eric Bliss (ebliss -[at]- westmont.edu): 1 entry
Larry Chen (lchen -[at]- grove.ufl.edu): 2 entries
Richard H. Smith (rs95+ -[at]- andrew.cmu.edu): 2 entries
Jeremy McCaw (mccawj -[at]- eskimo.com): 5 entries
Joseph Rupke (ejrupke -[at]- vgernet.net): 1 entry
Thogek (thogek -[at]- alumni.caltech.edu): 3 entries
David Ho (koxinga -[at]- idirect.com): 1 entry
Keri Bas (kebas -[at]- vassar.edu): 1 entry
Geoffrey D. Wessel (00gdwessel -[at]- bsuvc.bsu.edu): 2 entries
Eric J. Heckathorn (heckatho -[at]- psc.edu): 1 entry
Avery Ray Colter (avery -[at]- ccnet.com): 7 entries
David Banz (uzs98a -[at]- ibm.rhrz.uni-bonn.de): 3 entries
Stephen Langasek (wakko -[at]- stf.org): 1 entry
Arnold Wright Blan (abla7494 -[at]- mercury.gc.peachnet.edu): 135 entries
Russell J Manuel (rmanuel -[at]- osf1.gmu.edu): 6 entries
Robert Siemborski (robsiemb -[at]- bergen.gov): 6 entries
beverly lau (brlau -[at]- pacbell.net): 5 entries
Joni Taylor (alchmst -[at]- ix.netcom.com): 3 entries
Jason Ellis (jasone -[at]- dancris.com): 3 entries
Ari Rapkin (rapkin -[at]- parc.xerox.com): 2 entries
Craig T. Miyahira (taron -[at]- sweden-f1.it.earthlink.net): 4 entries
Susan J Whitmore (JNHZ33A -[at]- prodigy.com): 2 entries
T.W. Garcia (Lexatoz -[at]- aol.com): 2 entries
Andrew Walker (victoru -[at]- earthlink.net): 2 entries
Brian K. Bragg (bkbragg -[at]- mindspring.com): 3 entries
John Wohlers (jwohlers -[at]- mail.wcc.cc.il.us): 3 entries
James Bess (netsurfr -[at]- usit.net): 1 entry
Frank Gonzalez (PLPAUDIO -[at]- worldnet.att.net): 1 entry
"Pot Lettuce - Its not red and there are no rocks in it." [what a name] (eyeless -[at]- snoopy.biolan.uni-koeln.de): 3 entries
elisa (eangell -[at]- u.washington.edu): 4 entries
name unknown (timhare -[at]- inetnow.net): 1 entry
Tom Elmer II (tomelmer -[at]- deltanet.com): 4 entries
Clayton Hanson (claymore -[at]- nexbbs.com): 1 entry
name unknown (Blizzard6 -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Grant McEvoy (deeg -[at]- interlog.com): 1 entry
Alex Hertzog (Hertzog -[at]- pcis.net): 5 entries
Judit S Jensen (juje92ab -[at]- hp3.econ.cbs.dk): 2 entries
jporter (jporter -[at]- apple.com): 1 entry
Phil Rising (par -[at]- cbdes.cb.lucent.com): 2 entries
Carmen Weber (cweber -[at]- Informatik.Uni-Marburg.de): 8 entries
Joseph Osborne (jmosbo0 -[at]- sac.uky.edu): 1 entry
Dwayne N. Zechman (dnz -[at]- cvns.net): 1 entry
Melanie (melanie -[at]- phoenix.net): 2 entries
Adriann Sowchuk (adrianns -[at]- resudox.net): 10 entries
Jim Crocker (JCROCKER -[at]- JCVAXA.jcu.edu): 4 entries
Sam Matzek (sdmatzek -[at]- rex.smumn.edu): 1 entry
Nghaire Collins (adran -[at]- hotmail.com): 5 entries
Michael T. ALBERS (monk25 -[at]- ix.netcom.com): 1 entry
KnightShift (mjknight -[at]- smartnet.net): 7 entries
Rowan Kaiser (wpkjamrm -[at]- tde.com): 3 entries
Patrick Kee (pdk16 -[at]- fwb.gulf.net): 14 entries
Hello (jefurr -[at]- jmu.edu): 8 entries
Gary Giambalvo (garyg -[at]- iadfw.net): 4 entries
Christopher C. Schwartz (NYspcman -[at]- ix.network.com): 1 entry
name unknown (ktai -[at]- value.net): 2 entries
bugmaster (bugmaster -[at]- pacificnet.net): 2 entries
Joel King (joelk -[at]- vermont.starway.net.au): 10 entries
Rene 'Lynx' Pfeiffer (pfeiffer -[at]- merlin.pap.univie.ac.at): 1 entry
Martin Williams (Martin -[at]- roscatha.demon.co.uk): 10 entries
Mark Zieg (ziegm -[at]- magicnet.net): 2 entries
Justin K Rising (gbegeman -[at]- infinet.com): 2 entries
Daniel Martinison (starfire -[at]- algonet.se): 90 entries
William Squier (wsquier -[at]- lakers.lssu.edu): 2 entries
Michael Fortner (n0ybc -[at]- netdoor.com): 4 entries
Khan Noir (KhanNoir -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Vegas (pralliso -[at]- pine.shu.ac.uk): 9 entries
The Wumpus (kennelan -[at]- pilot.msu.edu): 2 entries
Art Brace (brace -[at]- leland.Stanford.EDU): 1 entry
Nicholas A Lassonde (ziktar -[at]- juno.com): 37 entries
Alison Young (100736.3655 -[at]- compuserve.com): 1 entry
Chaka (vanessa-evans -[at]- augustana.edu): 7 entries
Dietmar Althaus (a2865955 -[at]- smail1.rrz.uni-koeln.de): 3 entries
Steve Kovner (stevek -[at]- paragon.com): 2 entries
Debbie Schneekloth (dschneek -[at]- indiana.edu): 1 entry
Daniel J Kuhn (DJK5323 -[at]- tntech.edu): 1 entry
Sean Sutherland (seans -[at]- pobox.com): 1 entry
Rob Phelan (centuri -[at]- rollanet.org): 12 entries
Bethel (bethel50 -[at]- airmail.net): 1 entry
Bari (dudekdeb -[at]- student.lansing.cc.mi.us): 5 entries
Laurent Ozbun (ozbun -[at]- zygote.hsc.usc.edu): 4 entries
Kevin Noonan (kevin -[at]- orca.ucd.ie): 1 entry
Sali (salii -[at]- bestweb.net): 6 entries
George Swinnerton (george.s -[at]- ndirect.co.uk): 10 entries
Adriann Sowchuk (adrianns -[at]- resudox.net): 6 entries
Tim Nelson (tnelson -[at]- viking.dvc.edu): 1 entry
AHowarter (AHowarter -[at]- prodigy.net): 1 entry
Sharon Starling (SMStarling -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Ruth Kusterer (ruthless -[at]- webLayout.com): 2 entries
Scott Lilly (lillypad -[at]- shol.com): 1 entry
RWombat (rwombat -[at]- earthlink.net): 2 entries
John Konecsni (MKonecsni -[at]- aol.com): 6 entries
floyd (floyd -[at]- massart.edu): 1 entry
Alex B Arjad (meestermorden -[at]- juno.com): 1 entry
Bob Relyea (relyea -[at]- netscape.com): 3 entries
Joanne Allan (jo -[at]- apms.com.au): 6 entries
Martin Ling (mjling -[at]- rocketmail.com): 1 entry
Eleanor Skinner (skinner -[at]- ac.grin.edu): 1 entry
Emily Lee (elee -[at]- lib.law.du.edu): 4 entries
Erik & Angela Lourette (erikangel -[at]- gsinet.net): 19 entries
Jon Shinkfield (shinkfij -[at]- is.com.fj): 2 entries
Omer Joel (omer -[at]- actcom.co.il): 2 entries
Laura Shtern (shtern -[at]- interlog.com): 1 entry
Julia Andersen (julia -[at]- eta.pha.jhu.edu): 1 entry
Steve Condrey (snarf52 -[at]- pacbell.net): 33 entries
David Man Lai Ho (dmlho -[at]- vortex.uwaterloo.ca): 3 entries
Carsten Pluntke (su0289 -[at]- sx2.hrz.uni-dortmund.de): 1 entry
Peter Weaver (pweaver -[at]- acay.com.au): 3 entries
Lord Vetinari (vetinari -[at]- fuse.net): 4 entries
Eren Roubal (eroubal -[at]- execpc.com): 15 entries
David Alexander (the.alexanders -[at]- virgin.net): 1 entry
Janet and Kelly Grosskreutz (kelly -[at]- allinux.idea-inc.com): 10 entries
Dick Metz (MAKSGRAMP -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
AuntMary (AuntMary -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
name unknown (matthew -[at]- md.hscbklyn.edu): 1 entry
Julie May (FzntFlingr -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Thomas J. Conder (spectre -[at]- Dynasty.Net): 1 entry
Israel Government Press Office (!!) (gponews -[at]- netvision.net.il): 1 entry
A. Arnold (shura -[at]- ix.netcom.com): 1 entry
Deb M. Dudek (barigirl -[at]- geocities.com): 8 entries
Sham Gardner (un9l -[at]- rz.uni-karlsruhe.de): 1 entry
John E Lane (JEL116 -[at]- prodigy.net): 1 entry
Dave (white-star-killer -[at]- worldnet.att.net): 1 entry
Anne E. Barnes (abarnes860 -[at]- uky.campus.mci.net): 4 entries
Sarah Lambrix (Hinata1 -[at]- aol.com): 3 entries
Paige Bagwell (count922 -[at]- bellsouth.net): 3 entries
Grant Johnson (hwydragon -[at]- hotmail.com): 7 entries
Roger or Kathy [sic] (kcalaway -[at]- SURRY.NET): 1 entry
Javier Redal (jredal -[at]- dirac.es): 3 entries
Werrf (Werrf -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
North Star (megsteve -[at]- bellatlantic.net): 8 entries
Erica Torgerson (bondgirl -[at]- tamu.edu) & Lisa Hoffpauir (lhoffpauir -[at]- tamu.edu): 9 entries
Kelly Crutcher (kellyc -[at]- mindspring.com): 4 entries
Mark Williams (koshnaranek -[at]- theglobe.com): 11 entries
Jennifer Hogan (Jennifer_Hogan -[at]- st-marks.pvt.k12.ma.us): 6 entries
Anne Buchanan (e.buchanan -[at]- virgin.net): 7 entries
name unknown (MekJkil -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Damon Peichl (damon -[at]- internetwis.com): 1 entry
name unknown (AWPalmer -[at]- aol.com): 3 entries
name unknown (simone.salzmann -[at]- zurich.com): 2 entries
name unknown (B5theone -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
David Robb (dhrobb -[at]- onthe.net.au): 1 entry
Cynthia Stankiewicz (stankiew -[at]- k12s.phast.umass.edu): 1 entry
ebreitba (ebreitba -[at]- neo.lrun.com): 1 entry
Ryan Moore (Admiral_X -[at]- earthling.net): 14 entries
Phoebe Cosmidis (yannic -[at]- ath.forthnet.gr): 1 entry
name unknown (RED59821 -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Jennifer Garcia (jngarcia -[at]- dnai.com): 9 entries
Ryan Beal (B5Ranger99 -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Greg (Ghbst1 -[at]- aol.com): 2 entries
name unknown (Rxastro -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Geoff Crossland (gcross31 -[at]- bgs.bristol.sch.uk): 13 entries
Laura 47 & Alex (BElanna222 -[at]- aol.com): 2 entries
name unknown (Wire55 -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
name unknown (Kivas1701 -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
David Misener (dmisener -[at]- lords.com): 2 entries
Hayley Rickey & Jeffrey (leia -[at]- infinet.com): 8 entries
Mike Davis (m.davis -[at]- ucl.ac.uk): 1 entry
Adam Wenrick (wenrick -[at]- hotmail.com): 1 entry
Claudia (JHeldt -[at]- t-online.de): 5 entries
Guilherme Gama (ggama -[at]- uol.com.br): 11 entries
Morgana (Morgana -[at]- vorlonempire.com): 4 entries
Kevin McClean (kmcclean -[at]- sendit.sendit.nodak.edu): 1 entry
Michael Burgess (sheridan -[at]- bc.sympatico.ca): 1 entry
name unknown (Lefty99998 -[at]- aol.com): 3 entries
Joe Woodward (joewoodward -[at]- sprint.ca): 2 entries
Family Low (hagit100 -[at]- netvision.net.il): 1 entry
Calvin Redding (vorlon_cruiser -[at]- yahoo.com): 17 entries
Joe Carfley (Jtalon -[at]- penn.com): 5 entries
Kristi Aulenbach (flarnstar1 -[at]- hotmail.com): 10 entries
J Woodward (j_woodward1 -[at]- excite.com): 2 entries
Robert Cartland, Jr. (robertcartland -[at]- email.msn.com): 2 entries
mtr (mtr -[at]- c-cor.com): 5 entries
name unknown (CathexisD -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Roland Sieker (Roland.Sieker -[at]- Student.Uni-Tuebingen.de): 2 entries
Heidi Jollimores (downloading -[at]- this.info.is.illegal.com) [??]: 2 entries
Dharus (Dharus -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
James Beagrie (jbeagrie -[at]- email.com): 1 entry
James Taylor (jamest2125 -[at]- hotmail.com): 7 entries
canadada (canadada -[at]- gateway.net): 1 entry
name unknown (GandalfLOR -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Stephanie Dillon (asyr -[at]- hotmail.com): 1 entry
Christopher McColm (McChris979 -[at]- aol.com): 9 entries
Kevin Sprack (kev -[at]- sprack.freeserve.co.uk): 1 entry
Eugene Juan (erjuan -[at]- uclink4.berkeley.edu): 4 entries
Lehikoinen (lehikoinen -[at]- telia.com): 2 entries
Chris Busch (cbusch -[at]- home.com): 1 entry
Berit Lempe (berit -[at]- berry.de): 2 entries
Jacinta O'Connor (JACINTAOCONNOR -[at]- cs.com): 1 entry
Jeremy (AKrycek103 -[at]- aol.com): 8 entries
name unknown (ZLightBolt -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry
Joey DiPaolo (dogyear -[at]- tampabay.rr.com): 4 entries
Samantha (Ahtnamas86 -[at]- aol.com): 2 entries
Jenny Kammer (jennybabylon -[at]- hotmail.com): 3 entries
Craig Burn (burnie -[at]- bushinternet.com): 1 entry
Sean Hudspeth (kain_and_abel -[at]- hotmail.com): 3 entries
Rekkon (DutchVander -[at]- hotmail.com): 1 entry
Rizzo . (g_ww -[at]- hotmail.com): 1 entry
Tom Morrison (tom.a.morrison -[at]- ntlworld.com): 1 entry
Patrick L Jones (pjrocksa -[at]- juno.com): 1 entry
Gary Justice (gjustice -[at]- neo.rr.com): 2 entries
simon (simon -[at]- netyp.com.au): 2 entries
=?windows-1255?B?4fLm?= [??] (yossip1 -[at]- nonstop.net.il): 1 entry
Jared Schoening (ussnecromancer -[at]- hotmail.com): 1 entry
Nate Manella (manella.2 -[at]- osu.edu): 5 entries
Frank J. Papp (fpapp -[at]- provide.net): 2 entries
Alex Poonany (siskoeva -[at]- yahoo.com): 10 entries
Liz Sickler (Bartokcomp -[at]- aol.com): 5 entries
Jennyth Treacy (Bfly12JC -[at]- watchmail.com): 9 entries
name unknown (DogYear -[at]- aol.com): 1 entry

If you want to add an entry, send it trough this contact form.

This is the the original post in rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5. You may also find it at Google Groups.

If you have a slow connection, and getting this list takes forever, then I suggest you download the ykybwbtmw.zip instead: it contains this HTML file and will take about a third of the time.

As of 1996/jun/02, this list has become more than 10 times larger than the original one (350+ entries against only 35 in the original post in 1995/mar/10). I'd like to thank all of the contributors, for having the will of sending me their ideas (and also thanks to all of you who have had your entries rejected - keep trying).

THIS IS GREAT! As of 1997/feb/02, the list has become more than 20 times larger! There are now 700+ entries. This sure means Babylon 5 is becoming a classic.

BIG CONGRATULATIONS go to Joanne Allan, who made the 1000th entry on 1997/aug/21!

BIGGER CONGRATULATIONS go to Christopher McColm, who made the 1400th entry on 1999/apr/13! This list has become FORTY times larger than its original incarnation... impressive, isn't it?

A big THANK YOU goes to James Wolf, who was kind enough to send me a videotape with the S4 final 4 episodes, when I needed it most.

Another THANK YOU for James, who sent me a second tape with In The Beginning.

An even greater THANK YOU goes to Rain Lynham, who taped and sent me all of season 5.

Note: I get this asked a lot, so I've decided to put the answer here: the entry submitted by JMS was the one about "Morden Utilities for people" (but, to be honest, he didn't send it to me - he posted it in rastb5, then I asked him permission to include it here, and he granted it).

[award image] This page was awarded as Best of Babylonia in 1997/jan/5 (too bad that WWW site died).

If you can't get enough of this, look also at the You Know You've Been Watching Crusade Too Much When... list.

And be sure to read The Babylon 5 Bogus Episode List that I also keep.

Return to Sector 83x9x12.

Last modified: 17/09/2006.